what do you want to talk about?

no need to put out after dripping

it's streamed and cheek, chick is like a baby chicken

amazing story, fascinating with absolutely splendid writing. I have been looking for a book like this for so long, please never stop writing. keep going dude amazing stuff :)

very interesting story nice writing i like the characters overall very nice story. keep it up!

loved the story dude. the feeling that this story is something so big is just a yes from me, and your writing is pretty good I loved it keep going my man!

thank you! I'll keep improving on my Grammer and writing :)

not much to say tbh great story great characters and the writing omg I feel like I need to learn writing from you keep up the good work!

Pretty good work keep it up my man. I loved the first chapter, had a little challange understanding some bits here and there so I have you a 4 out of 5 in writing but overall I loved it. the story development was very good the character designs are good I liked the way you portrayed characters and overall it was a good story for me loved it!

it's fine:)

it's okay I'll vote yours don't worry keep going!

thank you!

Sooo, it's a pretty nice story, I love the story I love the characters everything is great just a few minor spelling and grammar mistakes here and there. I did leave comments on them so you can fix them. all in all the story is good I found it entertaining, the characters are good well we only know two but Kai has a personality I like. Also you kind of switched from third person writing to first person writing without any warning or blending so I was surprised. I think you should stick to first person writing since you did that the whole way and it's what I read most of the chapter in. that's all I have to say about this book pretty good book keep going don't ever stop keep improving and stay amazing!

I know this is fiction but police usually start with negotiation.. please don't mind my comments..

my most darkest no need for the and what does sicret mean?

I feel like instead of curiosity you should use fear as seeing a gun a person would be scared instead of curious you know?

I think you don't need the at in the "I saw a guy with a shotgun at entering the store" it's just "i saw a guy with a shotgun entering the store"

began to pick* again just trying to help :)

I'm confused on the first sentence that you wrote. could you explain what you wrote or tried to write?

and stop myself*