Carmen_Kingsman
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2023-03-07 JoinedGlobal
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Carmen_Kingsman9mthPostedThe author wrote coolly. You can get into the atmosphere of the story and laugh with the characters. But I would advise to add more characters and add more sharp turns in the plot so that the readers are close to having a stroke.And so I wish the author patience to complete the book. We are with you bro)
- Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented"Take out the monster core and eat it!" Ethan's voice was urgent, a command that cut through the chaos. His eyes met Kael's, and in that moment, a wordless understanding passed between them.
- Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented
what a cocky dude
Ethan grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "They are, kiddo. But you know what's faster? Me." - Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented
he is not stupid!
Kael shook his head "My answer is still no. I don't want to risk losing myself to something like that." - Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommentedCh 9 HuntTide 2
- Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented
Yeah
Kael's frustration flared. "Why not? I thought we were a team, and you're supposed to teach me, right?" - Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommentedEthan's grin widened. "Oh, I've got plenty of nicknames up my sleeve. But [kiddo] just suits you so well. Now let me do my fishing and you put the Rivercrest in the basket inside the carriage.and will go for the other."
- Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented
Ethan is cool, but he's worth killing for a hero
Ethan's smirk didn't fade as he leaned against a nearby tree, his expression oddly contemplative. "Hmm, let me think... I'll probably stop calling you kiddo when I'm about to die." - Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented
I'm from another world, what do you want?
Before he could receive an answer, Ethan's voice cut in, dripping with mockery. "You don't even know the most common animals, and yet you're here helping me catch them?" - Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented
I'm from another world, what do you want?
Before he could receive an answer, Ethan's voice cut in, dripping with mockery. "You don't even know the most common animals, and yet you're here helping me catch them?" - Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented
Something wrong bro
Kael's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he looked at the man beside the manager. His initial surprise turned into mild annoyance at the man's dismissive response. "Wait a minute, just one person? And calling me 'kiddo'? We're clearly around the same age," Kael replied, his skepticism growing. - Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommentedThe manager nodded, her enigmatic smile returning. "Take your time. They're here to provide some insight into the world you now find yourself in."
- Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented
we are home
As the morning light filtered into the room, Kael took a moment to collect himself. The dream's vividness lingered, leaving a lingering sense of disorientation. He rubbed his temples, trying to sort through the fragments of the dream and the emotions it had stirred within him. - Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented"Oh, almost forgot. You need this. It's actually pretty useless to us, so you might as well have it," the manager said, tossing the core to kael as she headed to her office.
- Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented
it's sounds cool
"So, this place serves as a meeting ground for people looking to confront their own shadows," Kael mused, his gaze shifting between the orb in his hand and the atmosphere of the tavern. - Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented
Oh, don't trust cute women, man!
"Just some water, thank you," Kael replied, returning her smile. - Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented
running time
_What's with the vibe here._ - Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented
I would advise the author to add some characters that will make the story funnier, cool and not boring
Kael felt the gentle breeze of air, sun warmth enveloped the meadow like as he found himself lost in a peaceful river. The worries and the uncertainties that had plagued him seemed to fade away. At that moment Kael felt like as the time itself has lost its meaning as he rested his back in the meadow, his thoughts drifting like the clouds above. - Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented
it usually starts with this
"Come on, Kael, it's just a path," he muttered to himself, his voice quivering slightly. He clutched the orb tighter, using its faint glow as his only source of comfort. - Carmen_Kingsman9mthCommented
Winner
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