kingsdog
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2023-03-13 JoinedGlobal
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kingsdog9mthCommentedCh 10 Chapter 10: Kane Arrives- kingsdog11mthPosted
An entertaining story with a lot of potential. The characters so far are enjoyable and not heavy with stereotypes. I wouldn't call the world unique, but it achieves what its going for. If there is a negative that I can think of is I don't feel connected with the main character, although that is to be expected because its only six chapters in. overall a fun read, and will be coming back for the next chapter.
- kingsdog11mthCommented
I'm sorry, its me again. liking the book I just think you should fix the mistake here. ( :
The next kid to touch the crystal is the same as the first one, after a few .ore kids failed to make the crystal glow it is now Kayla's turn he is one of the five kids alongside Damian that is chosen by Garu to represent the Miller City Shadow Hall. - kingsdog11mthCommented
I dont mean to be rude or anything, but you should use found instead of find. But other than that i'm liking your book so far.
After being pushed away Damian find his footing and dashed towards his opponent again but this time he made a feint attack he aimed for his opponent's neck again but when the sword-wielding kid was about to block he changed it into a downward slash, he successfully wounded his opponent's shoulder, the sword kid stepped back clutching his wounded shoulder, he looked angrily towards Damian and initiated the attack this time, he made continuous sword attacks and some of his attacks hit Damian but it is not life-threatening, their exchange of attacks continued for a few more minutes before they both retreated. Still clutching his shoulder the sword kid is now out of breath, while Damian on the other hand while being wounded all over his body he is still full of energy. - kingsdog1yrCommentedCh 1 well well well ... I see we are stuck here togetter.