Ser_Angust_Be

It's hard to follow; starting from chapter 70 onward, the animals go from behaving like animals to acting like humans with animal appearances. The author is terribly inconsistent.

The story’s initial premise had three very strong pillars: a human reincarnated as a sabertooth tiger, a genetic evolution system, and a hostile prehistoric environment where intelligence was supposed to make the difference. The problem is that, as the novel progressed, those pillars gradually started losing weight until almost nothing remained except the predator power fantasy. The system, for example, initially seemed like something fundamental that would allow the protagonist to break beyond the natural limits of the species, but right now it feels like it only accompanies his normal biological growth. If most of his stats ultimately depend on reaching adulthood, then many of his previous investments lose meaning. That makes the genetic points feel far less important than they should be. From an optimization standpoint, it would have been much more interesting to see the protagonist save resources for truly unique mutations, fusions, or irreversible evolutionary changes. The tail, hardened skin, and other adaptations actually feel like genuine improvements because they alter the base species itself. In contrast, spending points to “improve” a growth stage that would naturally happen anyway greatly reduces the strategic impact of the system. On top of that, there is another even bigger issue: the gradual loss of the protagonist’s human mentality. At the beginning, James was interesting because he was not simply a strong animal. He was someone using human reasoning inside a savage ecosystem. He analyzed risks, thought in terms of cost-benefit, acted cautiously, and tried to use the environment to his advantage. That mental difference was the true hook of the novel. However, he increasingly thinks less like a human and more like a generic predator with internal monologue. We barely see: - real planning, - resource optimization, - advanced strategic thinking, - creative environmental use, - or attempts to exploit unique cognitive advantages. He does not even try to exploit simple tools or indirect survival methods anymore. He does not need to build civilization, but he should at least maintain a fundamentally different way of thinking from the other animals. Because of that, it now feels like the protagonist no longer acts according to his own established logic, but according to whatever the plot needs in each scene: - he fights because the story needs action, - he risks resources because the system needs progression, - and he makes impulsive decisions that contradict his earlier mentality. Survival does not really justify this change. In fact, someone with a human mind in that kind of environment should become more calculating, more efficient, and more careful with limited resources. The result is that the two most interesting mechanics of the story weakened at the same time: 1. The system lost its strategic depth. 2. The protagonist’s human mentality stopped being relevant. And when both of those elements partially disappear, what remains is mostly a hybrid sabertooth tiger that keeps getting stronger. That can still be entertaining during combat or evolution scenes, but it no longer has the same identity that made the novel stand out at the beginning. The story does not necessarily need more power or more stats. What it needs is to recover what originally made the protagonist unique: a human mind intelligently using an evolutionary system inside a prehistoric world.

The story’s initial premise had three very strong pillars: a human reincarnated as a sabertooth tiger, a genetic evolution system, and a hostile prehistoric environment where intelligence was supposed to make the difference. The problem is that, as the novel progressed, those pillars gradually started losing weight until almost nothing remained except the predator power fantasy. The system, for example, initially seemed like something fundamental that would allow the protagonist to break beyond the natural limits of the species, but right now it feels like it only accompanies his normal biological growth. If most of his stats ultimately depend on reaching adulthood, then many of his previous investments lose meaning. That makes the genetic points feel far less important than they should be. From an optimization standpoint, it would have been much more interesting to see the protagonist save resources for truly unique mutations, fusions, or irreversible evolutionary changes. The tail, hardened skin, and other adaptations actually feel like genuine improvements because they alter the base species itself. In contrast, spending points to “improve” a growth stage that would naturally happen anyway greatly reduces the strategic impact of the system. On top of that, there is another even bigger issue: the gradual loss of the protagonist’s human mentality. At the beginning, James was interesting because he was not simply a strong animal. He was someone using human reasoning inside a savage ecosystem. He analyzed risks, thought in terms of cost-benefit, acted cautiously, and tried to use the environment to his advantage. That mental difference was the true hook of the novel. However, he increasingly thinks less like a human and more like a generic predator with internal monologue. We barely see: - real planning, - resource optimization, - advanced strategic thinking, - creative environmental use, - or attempts to exploit unique cognitive advantages. He does not even try to exploit simple tools or indirect survival methods anymore. He does not need to build civilization, but he should at least maintain a fundamentally different way of thinking from the other animals. Because of that, it now feels like the protagonist no longer acts according to his own established logic, but according to whatever the plot needs in each scene: - he fights because the story needs action, - he risks resources because the system needs progression, - and he makes impulsive decisions that contradict his earlier mentality. Survival does not really justify this change. In fact, someone with a human mind in that kind of environment should become more calculating, more efficient, and more careful with limited resources. The result is that the two most interesting mechanics of the story weakened at the same time: 1. The system lost its strategic depth. 2. The protagonist’s human mentality stopped being relevant. And when both of those elements partially disappear, what remains is mostly a hybrid sabertooth tiger that keeps getting stronger. That can still be entertaining during combat or evolution scenes, but it no longer has the same identity that made the novel stand out at the beginning. The story does not necessarily need more power or more stats. What it needs is to recover what originally made the protagonist unique: a human mind intelligently using an evolutionary system inside a prehistoric world.

It’s quite an interesting question. I wonder how much he contributed to the world in his past life to have such a high opinion of his own abilities without any real experience of anything? I mean, he hasn’t even left his hole in his new life and he’s already planning what he’ll do when he eventually conquers the galaxy. He’s a very cartoonish villain, honestly. The Brain would be proud 🥲. I understand someone wanting to take over the world, even in fiction, but there really is only one short-term path, and it would be hypocritical for this little Karl Marx to take it. Although Machiavelli would definitely approve.

A ridiculous, overpowered random shop NPC with no context or internal logic. The story went from serious to comedy out of nowhere. It's a pretty avoidable cliché.

What a clown, giving LOTR names to characters from ASOIAF.

The Altmer didn't know they were there; Helga basically threw herself into the meat grinder. A desperate escape is more in keeping with a Nord mother than that. Why would she leave the responsibility for her own blood to someone else?

Writing Quality ⭐⭐⭐ There are a lot of writing errors: dialogues and interactions are described or narrated instead of being presented as dialogue; the tone is constantly broken by inserting explanations and direct speech within the narration and in the present tense instead of narrating in the past tense; the prose is overloaded with short sentences (fragmented or narrative “coughs”) instead of compound sentences (for fluidity), etc. Updating Stability ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Story Development ⭐⭐⭐ The development of the story is severely affected by the writing style, and this is reflected in the pacing of events; they are often redundant, which hinders the progression from one plot point to another. Character Design ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ world background ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Overall Rating: 4.2 ⭐ I commend you for choosing the world of The Mentalist as the setting for developing a story; you are quite brave. Keep it up!

The solution: use longer, compound sentences and avoid explanatory prose to prevent descriptive redundancy. Then rewrite all the prose in the past tense to maintain the tone. The way you’re using AI—if that’s what you’re doing—is wrong.

And wow, those little names from another universe. What a lack of seriousness—it's not even funny or clever, it's simply stupid and out of place. The worst part is that it happens in a serious moment and suddenly throws in that crossover name out of nowhere. Will this keep going like this? This isn’t a complaint or anything. It’s just so I don’t waste time on comedy, nothing against the work or the author.