Shishivam

I will drop the book right here. All the comments I did is to make sure not to make a mistake first chapter is the most important one. Always write what you love. All the best .

This is not a mockery, make it rough, it just feels like a sentence, that's it

The whole scene needs to be changed. Use your characters around the main character to describe his situations and emotions to make it immersive. Study show don't tell

to many his and he. Use them, but give a break by using words like the person, the boy, the guy, human, etc.

Use a single type of tense mostly web novels are written in past tense.

Just describe his feeling and build the dream around it.

Not useful. It breaks the immersion.

Don't break sentences multiple times. If it is something to describe, do it with dialogue. While introducing a character, you can just build up his whole silhouette to let a different character or an NPC describe the main character.

sorry

So here's the anticipated review (lol) Anyway, I read till 70 chapters at the very moment. And here are my takes. As you can see i given this book a 4. 4 star I loved to read it as the grammar was very understandable 5 stars right there. Nothing much to say about the updating stability he is bringing up chapters quick automatically 5 Star there too. Now there are 4 stars in each of the other section such as story development the thing which deducted the point is info dumps and continue pov changes. The story does seems an interesting read, but it need to take a single path. character design yeah 4 here too as author need to put more it, and i also need to read this story futher . and last world building yes 4 too because of the lack of knowing about the world yet.