Juan_Cardenas_8016
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Organ stage, no?
Its not edited yet, and it’s basically on every single chapter up to this point
Dude, author… not only is it a wrong level, it said that it was already 3x last time when he upgraded it???
?????? What happened to the other stats he had already added?
So far I think the story has potential. Advice: 1. Grammar needs a bit of work to be honest, there are a bunch of mistakes that take always from the story. 2. I expected a bit more from the fight in the tutorial, it was a bit… anticlimactic. The way he killed the level 10 goblins was just too bland. That was his first fight in the book; it could have been a bit more grand in my opinion.
But he has no actual eyes?
Si far im very engaged, i really like his talents and the power system seems solid, I’m very glad he doesn’t use a sword as a weapon too, almost every mc does. Just a piece of very subjective advice, but try to make the character unique, don’t make him like 90% mcs that have “all element affinity” and can do everything, i think reading about a character that uses fewer things in clever ways is much more intriguing. Keep it up author!
Author you really need to work on using the correct pronouns, he/she and his/her are always mixed up and this mistakes make the text less engaging
Please don’t give the mc “all elements” it’s boring, an mc that uses one or two in clever ways is much more interesting to read about. Just saying because the story has potential
Pretty good so far, how come he hasn’t created any techniques based on his experience. Also another thing i think could be improved is the distinction in power levels, making it clearer how powerful each level is and their differences makes the story more immersive. Another thing I will say is that the fact he gets to have 7 helpers (the sins), but they all have to be women is pretty lame honestly, why take a nice concept and turn it into a harem? Lastly, about the legacy and his bloodline. He received a legacy from a warlock but the system seems more like something a demon would make (7 sins) and his bloodline seems to have been absolutely useless so far.
Honestly a hidden gem. Very well written and the story is really gripping, a few things that could be improved here and there, but it could shape up to be one of the best novels here in my opinion. Two things I will say though are: - MC’s that can do everything/have every affinity get a bit boring, its much more fun to read about a specialized character that needs to be creative in the way he uses his powers. - I would love it if the amount of releases per week were a bit higher :)
How does he get the meal plan? Nothing about levels and the shop has been explained and it’s chapter 42… at least a basic explanation would be good
I don’t get this part, he showed her his face at the auction, and expected her not to know who he was? Doesn’t make any sense
Isn’t he supposed to be stronger than artificial phantoms though? Or is she just on a higher power level? Just curious about how much him being a natural born one matters in terms of his power, or is it more about his potential?
I like the story so far, I think some plot developments are weird though, he miraculously recovered but it seems nobody has made any fuss about it, its kind of strange. Another thing is the fights can be more interesting if you add more creative ways that people can use mana. I think that will also help you enjoy writing fights too. I don’t know if you’ve read Hunter x, but in my opinion that manga has some of the best fighting sequences ever written in fantasy, just saying it cause u might be able to draw inspiration from it. Keep going, practice makes perfect.