JustAMan
Writing
of reading
147
Read books
Badges
2Moments
17
JustAMan1yrReplied to Yuri_CaparelliCh 3 Angels X Goddesses- JustAMan1yrCommentedAs she gazed at the celebrating villagers in front, her thoughts were stuck on the earlier battle. More specifically, they were stuck on her student. Shinso Ken. The kid had been one mystery after another. She was aware that he was special, yet he had continuously gone above and beyond her imagination. The Yuki clan kid was a chunin at least. Yet he had not only kept him at bay, alone. He had outclassed him completely.
- JustAMan1yrCommented
Author... calm down with all the blows you are giving your MC. Geez, we know he is talented.
She had known Shinso Kun was brilliant. But he had blown her expectations away. Not only her even sensei had been shocked by the display. She had observed the battle with her byakugan. He was fast and resourceful and his techniques though simple at first were very unique. And as much as she had observed, none of them were academy-taught, making it highly probable that he had invented them herself. This spoke of brilliance. Brilliance is seen in prodigies. - JustAMan1yrCommented
Why!? A ninja, a professional, who is on a mission wouldn't get distracted and would try to end his mission as fast as possible without taking his time to 'test' some guenins when their sensei's are nearby. Author you could have done this better.
"So, why don't you give me a demonstration." He said while hitting Haku on the healthy shoulder. He dislocated it. He turned towards me. A grin still adorned his face. - JustAMan1yrCommented"I will either do that, or die trying...and if I do, you better prepare yourselves" I said in deep tone of voice, as I gaze at Kuzan with a furious face.
- JustAMan1yrCommented
That's why I hate first POV... things get edgy very quick.
"I, Ashen Captain of The Ashen Pirates, have a dream…One day, I will erase the remnant of the old era, and become the strongest pirate…The Emperors, the Admirals…" I slowly got on my feet again, soaked in blood "I'll use their corpses as a steppingstone to achieve my goals" I said as my bulging forehead veins became more visible. - JustAMan1yrCommented'I'm not going down like this!... I'm not going down like this!' I kept screaming this sentence in my head, as I was starting to get angry. Angry at my self for being such a weakling, angry at the situation and even more angry at the man in front of me who just humiliated us.
- JustAMan1yrCommented
Mythic grade Waifu
"Not fair! I didn't know about it. And who is 'Chuni'? Is it the little name you gave her? So cute~" - JustAMan1yrReplied to fatloser
- JustAMan1yrReplied to BoboPingu
I understand your worries, the ambiguity the jump could create, but I believe myself skilled enough to pull it up and I think that a linear narrative (Childhood, training, making of the hatsu and Waifus conquest) isn't the most appropriate for this story. If I were to narrate thing in order, it would take at least 40 chapters before getting to the Hunter Exam... Many don't have that kind of patience and by the time the exam begin, there won't be any kind of interest, already knowing how strong he is. No true tension. Some may even hate, wishing for the Waifus to be back and finding the arc useless and the nerfing (curse) irritating. Many also don't like boy MC. With this Broken narrative, the jump, I can slowly let you glimpse at his strength and in a very interesting way build his character. In one hand you have Tatsuo and on the other Lee, two facades of the same coin. I can also slowly tease the Waifus. However if this little experiment end in a failure, I'll rewrite the volume sticking with the chronological order.
Ch 3 Note - JustAMan1yrCommented
You made a fan out of your writing style. Seriously, it's good, very good, and too good for this platform. Keep up the great work.
This book has been deleted. - JustAMan1yrCommented
Legendary grade Waifu.
"... Lust, you have been like a second mother to me, but you are still my waifu. If today I'm not wearing last week's pants, it's because of you. Heck! All my pants are clean! And as you can see, my room is spotless. - JustAMan1yrReplied to neis_markoCh 2 On The Roads
- JustAMan1yrReplied to Venerable_Read3r
I see, but you understood at the end right? Mike was the greedy thief who got controlled by the conjured ghost inside the doll. If I had mentioned the doll at the beginning, it would have taken out the tension of the situation and the element of surprise whish motivated readers to scroll down. As for Linda, she was a captive. A girl coming out of a bandit lair... It's obvious what she went through. I'll try and make these less confusing. Thanks for the feedback.
That's all I wanted to share. Now how did you find the Nen Bandit scene in the previous chapter? Any recommendations? - JustAMan1yrReplied to Venerable_Read3r
What didn't you understand?
That's all I wanted to share. Now how did you find the Nen Bandit scene in the previous chapter? Any recommendations?