It’s a really cool. You did a great job 👍

Dawn that’s a lot of chapters!

Humm. Why do I feel this statement is pushing a agenda 😂

Meh same

“They harden in response to physical trauma!”

Secret quests: New Age Casanova

Akira Toriama truly was a genius, look at this design, it’s so lewdable

And that is how our MC became a god slayer

I want to see you work your magic. 1

I frankly would like to see him try to tackle divinity. Very few dxd fics that I read go in that direction. It would be a really cool evolution for his sacred gear too. A sacred gear that incorages inovagion and evolution creating a god? Very feating power for a new Longinus in my opinion. Keep up the good work, have my stones!

😔

Well about that… Allow me to introduce you to the 14th Longinus Eon Ballor 😂

My review will have heavy spoilers. Writing Quality⭐️⭐️⭐️: The grammar is acceptable, not good but not terrible. I am not a native English speaker so take this with a grain of salt. Updating stability⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️: Great actually. Say that whith the perception of at least 1 chapter a week been good enough. Story development⭐️⭐️: Here things get complicated. The start of the story the MC takes Isseis place on the story (not literally, the MC is Isseis older brother and even has his own sacred gear that nears but supposedly isn’t a Longinus) doing much of what Issei would have done at the start with gradative deviations. What I found frustrating is many desicions taken by the MC on the story, that were not logical or followed the persona the story wants to portray him as. Some contexts and examples wound be that he’s supposed to be a smart chacter, but the way the author does that is by dumbing down everyone else! MC choice of going with the fallen angel chick and letting himself get killed by her so Rias revive him aside. (he was alredy friends with Sonas pierage and Rias at that point and had a way to approach them about it, he multiple times hinted and literally said to Sona and company knowledge about the supernatural, of which he supposedly learned from books that Sona had laying around. I am not joking that’s it, she literally had books about the Great War, her identity and all nine wards for f#cks sake) The story devolves to the mc creating convoluted plans and accomplishing the same things as Issei, but in slight diferent ways. What makes that unsatisfying is that the author at the start of the story didn’t know how to handle the MCs power or how they affected his immediate goals with carried a series of big and small retcons and some plot holes such as: Training for natural physical strength knowing his sacred gear automatically modifies his body however he wants even allowing him to race change of which makes it pointless since he himself admits he strength is magic, a sudden revelation to everyone that he’s a reincarnator followed by a retcon that it was all plan to get Rias brother attention by revealing that to Rias and Sona (pointlessly I must add, since following the marriage arc he would already have the opportunity to gain Rias brother attention anyaway by doing nothing until there), an abrupt injury caused by his own powers that for some fu#cking reason nothing heals just so he has the bright ideia of using his own power AFTHER a fight to heal it), making all relevant chacter as creative as rocks so the MC looks smart by cooping anime powers or using the devil magic “differently” like using summoning contracts to teleport in a fight which if you know it’s implication dosnt make’s sense, etc Chacter Design⭐️⭐️⭐️: The original dxd cast + MC that has the aperance of a young madara. I say the MC design it self is uninspired, just a young madara that bulks up and uses modern cloathes and no weapons. But the concept of his sacred gear is brilliant, even if the MC missuses it badly. World Backgroud⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️: It’s a sligh AU of DxD. I normally would just give it 5 starts but deliberate flaws to the magic system were added or used, besides the lack of comum sense however slight, imposed to many characters related to their powers and magic. There are many other inconsistencies such how everybody can extract and implant sacred gears and changes to the Evil piece system but those can be overlooked as been part of what makes it a AU. Overall not a bad read if you just want to read anything DxD to pass the time. But do not expect something great either, but even with many of its flaws the concept of story and its originality in many aspects make it a ok read.

It would be helpful if his powers and limits where better described. The way things are every explanation or mention the mc gave for one of his powers were either vague or frankly wrong. The copied power of destruction is weaker. Sure, that’s fine. But how? Takes more energy? Slower activation? Lesser Output?

Hey author, why do you retcon so many things? Just rewrite 2~3 chapters, don't keep doubling down on sudden plot twists with no stakes that base themselves on plot holes, or worse creates even more of them. Some things are for comedy and to break or even create tension, and I get that. But too many things in the story lack insight or structure. Many of which end up creating inconsistencies, not to say the original DxD didn’t have some, granted this is just a fic but things are starting to became rediculous. I just hope you keep improving your writing. The concept of the story it self is interesting, but much of that is lost on so many small mistakes that keep on increasing.

Plot. Injury that can’t be healead because yes.

Well… Thinking about you with such intensity must not be so diferent from worship 😂

But, would you lose?