Nyxane
And they named him the DOOM SLAYER
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Nyxane6dReplied to _OMNiCiENT_i wish u luck, keep grinding !
Then he looked back at the audience present there who were all looking at him with worship.- Nyxane6dCommented
So here are my honest thoughts, Since the protagonist is so OP giving him a proper challenge is hard, as you must've figured out, which is a barrier to good progression. Give it some thought as to how you can present a challenge without making it seem like going over the top suddenly(like battling the gods and then making heavens shake, I'm exaggerating but u get the point) Second, this story lacks a direction, its hard to determine if its a SOL judging by how the story is so far or adventure as I expected (or everyone did) it to be. Give the mc a purpose, like was it really luck that he good all these skills or does it have a reason and make him go search for that mystery etc. I'm repeating again HAVING A PROPER DIRECTION IS NECESSARY. or else general readers will quit after a few chapters. Third, the narrative feels very odd. It feels like a diary or a journal(observations) of a stalker of mc then the mc himself. This makes relating with the mc hard which u don't want. Read some established ones and see how they handle the flow. My recommendation is Shadow slave. I'm not promoting it but just telling u to analyse how he narrates the statements in such a way that they feel organic. And fourth, the info dumps should be handled carefully. The previous chapters had many big info dumps which takes the reader "out of the experience" or "immersion". introduce your worldbuilding gradually. its hard but pays of well. I know u are far into the story and its realistically impossible to refine already published chapters so keep in mind to check for these in newer chapters. Im a little broke so I cant buy the later chapters but I hope this helps. Anyway good luck!
Then he looked back at the audience present there who were all looking at him with worship. - Nyxane6dReplied to _OMNiCiENT_
sorry man, I was away for quite a while so I was unable to respond. lemme give it a quick read once again to jog my memory.
Now, we will watch over our protagonist, Rein who wants to conquer many more dungeons to become the strongest. His journey to the peak was only just beginning. - Nyxane6dReplied to _OMNiCiENT_
yes, whimper is okay, since she is little annoyed and still playful.
Seeing Rein's dazzling smile the receptionist heart rate sped up and her face turned red. She mumbled out a "you're welcome" and looked down shyly. Rein and Tasha then left the guild. Before crossing the door and Tasha hit Rein with an elbow and whimpered - "Playboy." - Nyxane26dCommented
weird statementđ¤
This paragraph has been deleted. - Nyxane26dReplied to CharlieRider
bikini armour has the best defences, its the universal truth â¨
Head instructor Keisha stood on the stage donning skin-tight blazers, showing off her supple breasts and making it seem as if they would burst out of her clothes. - Nyxane26dReplied to Shadowles_Immortal
yeah true.
"Everyone knows the consequence of missing the examination is instant death, he's not that stupid." - Nyxane1mthReplied to WTF_WTF
yup thats the one
"I am inside the game, that fucking game 'Slice of Life in Terra world'.. Ohh my god.." - Nyxane1mthCommented
Too much literary sugar, tone that down in future
"And the boldness and energy your eyes give off, as if they wouldn't ripple even if the whole world started falling apart." She gasped. - Nyxane1mthCommented
well said son!!!
With a figure like that, there's no way in hell I'm ever going to actually consider her as my mother. Hell, I'd probably even fight my dad in this world to make her mine. - Nyxane1mthCommented"Just look at how beautiful your anus looks when I pull it out like this. It looks like a flower that was originally purple in colour, going through metamorphosis and turning into a pretty shade of pink from the inside...It honestly looks so ravishing that I would prefer to watch your ass bloom like this than actual flowers in a meadow."
- Nyxane1mthCommented
something would change, maybe for good, maybe for worse
I've watched enough horror movies and knew the best plan of action was to run away from these types of situations, without interacting with them any further. But for some reason, I felt that something would change if I actually clicked on one of those links. - Nyxane1mthCommented
someone has a god syndrome
The go-to method would be to bury his body in a faraway forest. But that always takes too much time, and I wished I owned an electric incinerator that could destroy his body in seconds. - Nyxane1mthCommented
He found out... WHO LET THE DOGS OUT
A job where I could show off my skills and let the world see my true potential was the last thing I wanted, as the last time I showed off what I could truly do, I was hunted down by several organisations that wanted to dissect my brain and see how it worked after seeing its true capabilities. - Nyxane1mthCommented
gaia...
"All of you are here to understand the vastness of the great world, Gaia! Take into your hands a sword from that pile, and start swinging it. Once you swing it one hundred times, you will receive your first mission." the sword master said. - Nyxane1mthReplied to Sazukii_Hachiga
what i was planning to say, u beat me to it.
"Confirm. I just want them to feel the pain of not having their guild own this name." Jake grinned, but inside, he could not control the anger that he felt towards the guild that used him and then tossed him away. - Nyxane1mthCommented
update the url there's no re- in url.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/re-world-online_23126079305076205 - Nyxane1mthCommented"Oh look at that, I think that you don't need to wait anymore. Good bye, Jake. You will be far more useful to me dead than alive. It is a pity that you can't live again." Yuahn smiled and turned back.
- Nyxane2mthCommented
bird and the bees??
Awakened Power - The bees - Nyxane2mthCommented
well its good to see a old hype up again
"Yes, that's why I will first investigate zero-point energy" With a twinkle in his eye, Christian continued "Zero-point energy is all over the universe, but its level of complexity is so high that no scientist has achieved results with it... this energy could be the key to the future of space exploration, since it can be deformed to give ships thrust."