Author here, I hope you all enjoy this new novel im starting, ill try to get a consistent stream of new chapters going for all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fairly decent start for what could be an interesting story. While its too early to judge the story so much, the pacing does feel somewhat rushed. The author should probably let their writing breathe more, and create a better flow of events. Obviously, I'm not quite so competent a writer myself, so this is all I can pick out really without reading more thoroughly. In the end, it seems decent and the author should definitely continue.

it probably will slap him in the face throughout the story many times, but its not him thinking the world is a story and more so a desire to control and stuff, yknow

I mean thats not really how hes thinking, he just knows he literally can do that, not really him thinking of it as a story

thanks! hope you keep enjoying it

that's probably what i'll end up doing, tho not sure if that'll be a canon character or an oc character

I probably won't, thanks for the comment and yeah, im tryna keep pacing and quality consistent and stuff lol

it will but after the arc im doing rn its gonna transition more into the dragon ball story and characters more heavily lol, so dw bout that

oh I see what you mean, I havent decided anything regarding romance really yet so idk yet

wdym by polygame?

glad you're enjoying

thanks, glad you're enjoying it :)

thanks!

also that he isnt interested in someone physically 13 cause of his mind lol

its more so the age gap of 10 to 13 that he didnt like

actually we might be mid-dragon ball, havent decided yet lol

While the story seems interesting enough, the writing quality is a bit lacking at times, edits could be made to easily make it better, but overall, this seems like a decent book, though im not usually one to read romance novels, so my opinion on it may not be the best.

we're before the end of the original dragon ball, not in Z yet, some time plus time-skips away from Z lol

This actually was captivating me from the beginning, the world is just interesting enough to make me enjoy the ideas of it quite a bit, and the story surrounding it seems quite interesting as well. Writing quality is pretty good and overall, this seems good! Keep up the work!

Reading through the first few chapters, this is seeming to be pretty good. Descriptions are well detailed and really help me to imagine the scenarios and scenes in it. The pace is good and the story seems interesting, overall seems to have great potential, keep it up!