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asdsdaasd

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nnoono

2022-10-11 JoinedUnited States
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Writing

0.5h

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122

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4

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24
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    It may have a plot, I suppose. I feel that asking questions or chatting about guys these men that is more significant than imparting meaningless knowledge or what appears to be trivial. You should start the tale right away because if the first few lines don't grab readers' attention, you've already lost them. However, I believe the narrative is ok, and the grammar was fine.

    altalt
    Revelations of the end
    Fantasy · Genji09
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    The novel was generally fine. There didn't seem to be much of a grammar problem. The plot moved along rather well. It was on topic and had a respectable quantity of details.

    altalt
    wfgsh
    Fantasy · Freylingo
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    Although I assume it was sufficient I do believe there might have been more background information and perhaps even more emotions. Just because you use bad words doesn't imply they are truly mad. I must question if he returned to his planet in chapter 2. Does he not remember this, or is this a flashback? But other from that, I guess everything went OK.

    altalt
    Chosen of the Void
    Fantasy · Dhylec
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    I believed that this book had a special concept. However, there are several places where you might do better. For instance, expanding your vocabulary to make it less apparent. Additionally, I noticed a few grammar mistakes as I was reading your book. For instance, in the beginning of chapter 2, you failed to capitalize one of the terms.

    altalt
    THE FEEL OF LOVE
    Fantasy · Rajya_shrree
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    Although it was a very original book, I thought it might have been stronger. You are required to capitalize the initial letters of every sentence, but you neglected to do so in several of them. I'd appreciate it if you could address it as soon as you can. It wouldn't hurt to attempt to correct some grammatical errors using the free Grammarly tool.

    This book has been deleted.
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    I just read the first few pages, but I have to admit that they were rather excellent. They were really specific. The length of several of your paragraphs was the only thing I found problematic. It's not a terrible thing, but because there are so many words packed into this short area, it can confuse your readers.

    altalt
    The Beginning of a Forgotten Legend
    Fantasy · Otniel_B_Ciobanu
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    Your book was alright, I guess, but the one thing I didn't like about it was the lack of vocabulary. You seemed to be using a lot of the same phrases repeatedly. However, other from that, I believe it was a fine book.

    altalt
    Seal The Heart
    Fantasy · Aug_ust15
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    Since I had never heard of the concept of pairing up two individuals from such different worlds, I think it was a fine story. I also found it interesting that the male main character didn't indicate that he was also like the female character. This story doesn't start off by giving the main characters a ton of authority, which I thought was a pleasant change from previous books. It enables things to accumulate.

    altalt
    The Villain Always Dies in the End
    Fantasy · WorthyAdversary
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    Although I wouldn't say it was the finest novel I've ever read, it was still rather good considering it was your first. The noises were the only thing that bothered me; yes, I realize that you repeated them to let the reader comprehend that they were sounds. I thought some of the laughter was inappropriate, though it may have just been "ha ha" or "haha." Some noises also were. The ticks rather than repeat could of be "the tick repeated over and over again." rathe than tick tick tick tick.

    altalt
    The Guide of Evolution
    Fantasy · CosmicRuler
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    The novel itself piqued my attention to read more because it was written rather effectively. The general point of view was the one thing that did slightly perplex me. Why does that matter? However, aside from that, it was a good novel; keep up the good job.

    altalt
    Ashen Sun
    Realistic · Donutsaurio
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Replied to asdsdaasd

    Although the story was well-written, it might have used more language because it was so bland. I imagine them having a current and advanced vocabulary because the works that are based on British aristocracy have such a wide and smart vocabulary. Apart than that, though, it's great. But take this with a grain of salt because I'm not British or royal. (Sorry I didn’t know I couldn’t edit a review)

    altalt
    The Cosplay
    History · emaan_Hussain_2035
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    The story was well made although it could have used more vocabulary as it was quite bland. Other than I couldn’t find other issues, the story itself was rather amazing.

    altalt
    The Cosplay
    History · emaan_Hussain_2035
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    With my small intellect, I assume it was a decent novel, but I had trouble understanding it. However, it contained a lot of details, and I believe that one day it will improve and perhaps even become more well-known as a novel. It was a little difficult to identify who was who, but that might just have been a problem with me. Everything else was great.

    altalt
    Tenth author's journal 2A: Mikhail
    Fantasy · Willhem_Duy
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    Good night, I won't be continuing to write this book since I need to finish Assassin Color, another book. Go ahead and buy that book, please. However, for those who wished to read this book. Since I will be studying fashion in real life, I intend to rewrite this book. In addition, I work as a garment designer. I like fashion, but I'm not sure how to describe it. So please don't lose up on this book just yet since I intend to rewrite it.

    altalt
    The Life Of A Fashion Designer
    Realistic · asdsdaasd
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    I've completed revising chapters 1-3. I sincerely hope you all love the slower innovative movements. If my workload doesn't get too heavy, I'm hoping to release chapters 4 and 5 tomorrow, but from now on, I'll definitely be posting one chapter every day! Please keep checking back for further updates. By the way, while my grammar may be poor because I am not a native English writer, I hope you new reader enjoys the new chapters. I worked hard to make sure they were good.

    altalt
    (BL) Colorless Assassin
    Horror · asdsdaasd
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Replied to asdsdaasd

    I should be ready to have them ready by tmmr

    altalt
    (BL) Colorless Assassin
    Horror · asdsdaasd
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    I apologize for yet another review, but I will revise chapters 3 and 4. As I was pondering, it occurred to me that I had greatly hurried the romance and hadn't intended to have both characters fall in love so quickly. But don't worry, I'll be adding more darkness, intricacy, and length to them to make up for my careless errors. Although I don't do it well, I'll learn how to fight scenes as I rewrite them. Since I'm neglecting classes and studying to write this, your continued reading of my book will inspire me to keep going.

    altalt
    (BL) Colorless Assassin
    Horror · asdsdaasd
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Replied to Motomoto_2021

    However, I will be deleting your rating because "sliceoflife" may have a different meaning for me than it does for you. We all have different perspectives on what particular items are, but in my opinion, it deserves to have a "sliceoflife." It makes you appear very immature and possibly even like a horrible critic to give me one star for the simple reason that it says "sliceoflife."

    altalt
    The Life Of A Fashion Designer
    Realistic · asdsdaasd
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Replied to Motomoto_2021

    That was the plan, but suddenly I started to lose interest in writing this work. But if you're interested in a book that does offer this, check out Assassin Color, my other book. As my writing style changed, it became harder for me to offer the "sliceoflife" but my first few chapters do offer a bit of it. I didn't misplace the novel locations; they belong in sliceoflife.

    altalt
    The Life Of A Fashion Designer
    Realistic · asdsdaasd
    detail
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd1yr
    Posted

    Although it could have been a little better, the first chapter was quite good. I did like the extra details in some places but not in others. Was the original 15-year-old boy's soul lost or killed, to be honest? And did the new soul take possession of the body?

    altalt
    Summoned in a Noble's Body [ Moved to a New Link!!]
    Fantasy · Devesh_Kulkarni
    detail