Xandra_N

No, it was most likely an Exterminatus. If it was Tyranids there would be no breathable air.

Dogs do not perceive human sexuality in the way the story suggests. Their obedience is based on training, reinforcement, and socialization rather than witnessing private moments (Bekoff, 2007). The claim that a dog would “lose respect” due to seeing its owner in a submissive position is an example of anthropomorphism—projecting human thoughts and social structures onto animals—when in reality, canine behavior is not influenced by such human-specific concepts (Serpell, 1995). Scientific research has shown that dogs respond primarily to tone of voice, consistency, and training rather than moral or hierarchical judgments based on an owner’s personal life (Bradshaw, 2011). If the logic of the story were true, then dogs would also stop obeying owners who were sick, injured, or emotionally vulnerable, yet studies show they often become more attentive and protective in such situations (Topál et al., 1998). Therefore, the story lacks scientific backing and is merely a fictional anecdote. Sources: • Bekoff, M. (2007). The Emotional Lives of Animals: A Leading Scientist Explores Animal Joy, Sorrow, and Empathy — and Why They Matter. New World Library. • Serpell, J. (1995). The Domestic Dog: Its Evolution, Behaviour, and Interactions with People. Cambridge University Press. • Bradshaw, J. (2011). Dog Sense: How the New Science of Dog Behavior Can Make You a Better Friend to Your Pet. Basic Books. • Topál, J., Miklósi, Á., Csányi, V., & Dóka, A. (1998). “Attachment Behavior in Dogs (Canis familiaris): A New Application of Ainsworth’s Strange Situation Test.” Journal of Comparative Psychology, 112(3), 219–229.

Having a “white jade” skin tone is completely unrealistic. Skin naturally darkens with even a little sun exposure because the body produces melanin to protect itself. Unless your character avoids the sun entirely—like staying indoors all the time or obsessively using high-SPF sunscreen—it’s impossible to maintain that kind of tone. Skin just doesn’t work that way, and ignoring this makes your description feel detached from reality. And about the muscles—you clearly don’t understand how they grow. You describe a 1.85m guy with well-developed muscles that aren’t bulky, and you claim this gives him a balance of flexibility and explosive power. But flexibility and explosive power don’t come from the same kind of training or muscle adaptations. Flexibility depends on longer, more elastic muscles, while explosive power relies on fast-twitch fibers for quick, powerful bursts. These traits often contradict each other, so presenting them as a natural balance just really pulls me out of the story. Most people probably won’t notice the sort of stuff, but those will go to the gym even a bit will catch onto this.

Using dashes for one speaker and quotation marks for another can confuse readers—especially Americans—because it’s not what they’re used to. In English, quotation marks are the standard way to show dialogue, so switching between styles makes it harder to follow who’s talking. It feels inconsistent, like mixing two different sets of rules. Here’s an example of how three or more people talking would look if you use quotation marks for everyone: “Are we going to the park later?” Sarah asked. “I think we should wait until it stops raining,” Tom said, glancing out the window. “If it clears up, I’ll bring snacks!” Mark chimed in.

The Ironborn and the Wildlings in A Song of Ice and Fire differ significantly in their moral frameworks and cultural motivations, making it unfair to classify them as equally “evil.” The Ironborn are defined by their adherence to the “Old Way,” a way of life rooted in raiding, pillaging, and conquest. This philosophy is not just accepted but celebrated in their culture, reinforced by their worship of the Drowned God. Practices like “paying the iron price” glorify violence and theft, and their raids and enslavement of others make their actions destructive and predatory. Their moral framework prioritizes their own glory and wealth, with little regard for the suffering they inflict on others. From an external perspective, this system is inherently oppressive and exploitative. The Wildlings, or Free Folk, operate under a very different moral framework shaped by their harsh environment beyond the Wall. They are not inherently violent or cruel; rather, their actions are motivated by survival and the desire for freedom. Unlike the Ironborn, the Wildlings are not driven by conquest or a need to dominate others. Instead, their culture rejects the feudal hierarchy of the Seven Kingdoms and values personal freedom and equality. While they may raid northern villages or clash with the Night’s Watch, these actions stem from a need to secure resources or escape the dangers of the North, not from a desire to exploit or subjugate others. Their morality is internally consistent, as they honor alliances and commitments within their own culture, even if it appears lawless or savage to outsiders. Ultimately, the Ironborn and the Wildlings highlight the theme of relative morality in ASOIAF. The Ironborn’s worldview is inherently exploitative, which makes their actions more universally condemnable, regardless of perspective. The Wildlings, on the other hand, challenge the notion of “civilized” morality by living outside the laws of Westeros but still adhering to a moral code based on survival and mutual respect. Their actions may seem threatening to those in the Seven Kingdoms, but they are not driven by malice or greed, only necessity. In conclusion, the Wildlings are not purely evil. Their actions are situational and tied to survival rather than ideology. In contrast, the Ironborn, with their culture of conquest and exploitation, embody a more systemic and predatory moral framework. While both groups operate outside the norms of Westerosi society, the Wildlings represent a morally complex and misunderstood people, whereas the Ironborn align more closely with the concept of cultural evil.

Unfortunately the house of dagoth has all my stone as such I would like to direct you towards lord dagoth.

That’s fanon

The writing quality is decent but nothing exceptional. It reads like it was written by a high school student focused more on fantasy fulfillment than depth. That said, it’s still more readable than most fanfics out there. The story development is mediocre, and the dialogue feels awkward and unnatural, as if the characters aren’t speaking like real people. As for the harem aspect, while I don’t inherently have a problem with it, it’s wildly unrealistic in a modern setting like the Marvel Comics universe. Character development has been weak so far, but it’s still early (only 12 chapters in), so I’ll reserve judgment there. Overall, it’s a mid-tier fanfic that seems to cater to horny incels.

Delete the word count chapter, your story Is pretty decent and this chapter will annoy people and you will lose readers. On top of that, a lot people that see your story is the popular section will not even give your story a try when they see that you have word count chapter.

I’m not going to waste time trying to give this mess a proper review because it doesn’t deserve one. This is just this week’s smutty slop. The story is incoherent, tries to be funny but falls flat, and reads like something written by a horny teenager. There’s no depth or intrigue to keep you hooked. In short, it’s exactly what I called it: the slop of the week.