Chill_Capybara

It has a gud way of describing things, very nice

Theres a lot of problems with this one. The grammar is okay but sometimes goes over the line like adding more verbs like moved, stepped, swooshed, sped, and all that. The formatting is worse too, like its all over the place. Its like someone wrote it with passion but forgot how to make everything make sense. this one has potential yes, but theres a lot of problems. like, the explanations are pretty half assed and lacks cohesion. making a writer be able to control plot? whats with that? just say thats the mcs golden finger and everything will go his way. you even added that the changes in reality is limited, but what kind of limit? can he use it for a thousand times if its just a small change? like, change memories to make the characters fallfor mc? lots of problema the comedy was good thiugh, the banter between the writer dude and mc. Just edit it. fix the grammar. make a proper reflection on what is happening and make it clearer. the thing about the writer about making any changes to the reality, nerf it, like, make him only be able to use it once a week and only in one person. also, why is the baby able to practice his mucles? it doesnt form yet for day old babies. even with it just being seven chapters the faults are visible. overall a mess, mix of passion, impatience, lack of edits, lack of refining on the details, lack of cohesion, the comedy sometimes lands, sometimes the comedy feels forced. Tone down the other comedy you intent since it mostly doesnt work, keep the playful banter between the main character and the writer though, I liked that one. final verdict: 2 stars. good luck and keep writing!

I did.

The premise is pretty cool

The story is well made and mahoraga was very cool I can imagine him in lotm. The author makes the combination of tone and story to make a coherent narrative. It is well made in this particular aspect.

It will take a long time. but I will reach the peak of the mountain. there may be rocks that would refuse me. lands muddy as I walk. insects and the elements all against me. I will keep on keeping on moving until the destination is there. once I stand in that cold endless summit. i will soon realize how much I didn't need most of what I carried with me. the only thing left on me on that mountain is supplies to climb back down. maybe call someone I know to deliver me out by a helicopter. I will realize, too, that the journey was well worth it. individuality is good. while camaraderie has its place the true pursuit of power and immortality often requires walking a solitary path alliances may be formed but one's core ambition and resolve are ultimately individual in nature.

It will take a long time. but I will reach the peak of the mountain.

yeeeessss!

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

See this! I just gifted the story: Inspiration capsule