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Thoughts cannot be controlled by his Familiar.
Not exactly. I'd say similar concept but they work WAY differently. Being Named is more than just receiving a title :P
Fixed.
Fixed.
Fixed.
Fixed.
Which skill are you referring to?
I won't deny the first part because I'd be lying (the blame's on me), but for your second complaint, I have a good answer. The tools the MC has are unique and the same goes for Aurea, but since she has more experience in combat, it's obvious that she's stronger than the MC. That won't last for long though :P, just needs some extra room for improvement. Thanks for the review anyways!
There are some mistakes here and there, and the plot and overall pace of the story are really confusing and got me re-reading paragraphs for a while, but the concept behind the story is well thought out. Maybe more attention to explaining details or slowing down the pace could work better for the novel. The grammar is fine, I didn't notice any big mistakes that ruined part of the immersion for me. Keep it up, author! Some fixes here and there and it'll be a great novel!
The story is intriguing but the way the plot is worded may be confusing at first. There are some grammar mistakes but nothing too serious that may break the immersion. However, I would lie if I said that I'm not interested in how Jack deals with the new abilities! Keep it up! Just a little more attention to grammar and plot progression and it will become a fantastic work! Good luck, author!
Even though there are some mistakes when it comes to grammar, the idea of the novel is certainly interesting. The emotions and executions of scenes and their consequences are beautifully written and help with the immersion as well. And the Fragments system is unique, to say the least, the first time I've seen anything like that. By far a great read, the novel has a high potential if it continues the way it's going currently. Keep it up, author!