MeMeek
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MeMeek5hCommentedJonny boy better not be workin for the Gracies
"No matter what happens, he'll make it out alive," Lisa chimed in. She then glanced at Johnathan and added, "Your teammates will be safe with him. Just trust him."- MeMeek4dCommented
"hey, he tried to kill me first. several times. this was entirely self defense." like?
The act of killing an ally was too big of a crime. - MeMeek5dCommented
"jokes on you, showing off is literally how I get stronger!" 😂
"Tch, showing off won't help you," Dodge murmured in anger and a hint of jealousy, dashing straight towards Shye with his glaive the next moment. - MeMeek5dCommented"Ascending from the left side of the stage, Balkrow's rookie representative and the one who rightfully cleared the (A-) ranked Polva Mana Dungeon, a dungeon that not even the Krevar City adventurers were able to conquer, let us all welcome, Shye Crowley from Raven's Blade Adventurer Guild!!"
- MeMeek5dCommented"Well, most Faction Wars are sieges nowadays, where two factions attempt to overtake the other's base. Even you can't defend a base from thousands of people with a dozen, I think…"
- MeMeek8dCommentedHe felt no remorse whatsoever. Instead, he felt incredibly content.
- MeMeek10dCommented"May we know which party seized the dungeon's core? We were in close proximity to its shores and find it unjust that it was taken from us so suddenly. If you still hold your honor as adventurers, let's resolve this through a party skirmish!" Dodge exclaimed without hiding the fact that he was utterly furious.
- MeMeek12dCommented
For example, here (and this is the last I'll harp on about it): "Then, he continued flapping his wings, grabbing onto the next crimson crystal and moving forward one flap at a time." The joke is perfectly understandable without the "...uhh..." there. You definitely have the skills, be more confident in your writing! 🥰
Then, he continued flapping his wings, grabbing onto the next crimson crystal and moving forward one…uhh…one flap at a time. - MeMeek12dCommented
Hmm. Ok, listen: I'm a big fan of Shye and this story and I want it to be clear that I'm not trying to lambast you or make you feel bad in any way, shape, or form. I will continue to genuinely look forward to new chapters regardless. That said, I'm starting to notice some detrimental writing habits as of late and I want to provide some of what I hope will be recieved as constructive criticism: you've been overusing ellipses and emotive filler words during narration lately. You don't need to narrate an "...uhh...!" or try to artificially introduce tension in the middle of narration "by way of... breaking a statement in half." It's one thing if it's a character's internal thoughts or dialogue, but narration is not casual speech and shouldn't contain the same quirks. All that tends to do for readers is cause a grating disruption of flow and almost comes off as condescending. Don't get me wrong, I know that's not your intention at all, but you have to trust your readers to understand what's being conveyed without spoon-feeding how you think we *should* be feeling to us. I understand the desire to make everything constantly intriguing and mysterious, but the intrigue should come from the narrative (and this story definitely doesn't lack intrigue). I'm also fully aware that putting out several chapters a day is incredibly mentally taxing and likely to cause burnout that could lead to these types of habits. Idk. Maybe it's just a minor pet peeve of mine and I'm just being picky, but this book has immense potential and I really wanna see it go as far as it can. I really hope this doesn't come off as hostile or anything 😓 please make sure to get enough rest and take care of yourself!
Ch 401 What Happened To Crowley? - MeMeek14dReplied to DarthJarJar
one or two chapters ago, there was a line that read something to the effect of "after gaining enough strength, Xian destroyed mo ru's soul" so I dont think hes in there anymore
Seeing this, Yuan shook his head and said, "Relax, you two. Did you forget that I have two Soul Weapons?" - MeMeek15dCommented"Fine, I'll kill you myself!"
- MeMeek16dCommented"Now the real race for achieving Spirit Refining Perfection begins. I don't want to wait until my 50s, or even 40s, to reach that stage. It's about time I made use of the druid bloodline," Aksai muttered to himself as he rose from his seated position.
- MeMeek16dCommented
nice. get existentially obliterated, nerd.
Tian Xian, after gaining enough strength and shattering Mo Ru's soul, started working together with Heaven's Defiance and recruited those who were forced to submit to the Celestial Emperor into their own forces. - MeMeek16dCommented
Adam internally:
Adam then got to his feet, his shoulders slouched. He turned around and glanced at Edward and Lisa with a listless expression, "Boss… has passed away." - MeMeek16dReplied to Mactiremor
oop. must've missed the name drop, thanks for the heads up! 😊
"That part of the city was toward the western gate, so we'll have to travel west if we want to have a higher chance of encountering those two God Ascension realm souls." - MeMeek16dReplied to Ch33sy"That part of the city was toward the western gate, so we'll have to travel west if we want to have a higher chance of encountering those two God Ascension realm souls."
- MeMeek16dReplied to Mactiremor
he's talking about the two he promised to smuggle out when he made it here on accident the first time. also, we don't know which weapon mo ru was captured in (unless at some point it was made clear that yuan's weapon is the same that Tian used and I'm just forgetting), nor whether he'd even still be in there.
"That part of the city was toward the western gate, so we'll have to travel west if we want to have a higher chance of encountering those two God Ascension realm souls." - MeMeek17dCommentedAt this point, Adam's existence had become a mental obstacle to the youth. Until and unless he saw Adam's lifeless head, he wouldn't be at ease.