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taytjie

taytjie

Lv1

I like to write.

2022-09-07 JoinedSouth Africa
-d

Writing

-h

of reading

16

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29
  • taytjie
    taytjie2 years ago
    Replied to Handadai

    Thank you for reading

  • taytjie
    taytjie2 years ago
    Replied to Reader19821

    Thank you for reading

  • taytjie
    taytjie2 years ago
    Replied to Reader19821

    thanks I'll fix it in a jiffy

    This paragraph has been deleted.
  • taytjie
    taytjie2 years ago
    Commented

    Good chapter, Though you have a few grammar issues and tensing problems. you switch from past to present often while writing.

    This book has been deleted.
  • taytjie
    taytjie2 years ago
    Commented

    'Jessica cheered and immediately..' just an edit suggestion. also tense issue. 'cheers' is present while 'cheered' is past.

    This book has been deleted.
  • taytjie
    taytjie2 years ago
    Commented

    you switched genders again. it should be 'don't scold her anymore.'

    This book has been deleted.
  • taytjie
    taytjie2 years ago
    Commented

    'that is true' <-- you're switching tenses here. you write mostly in past tense but 'is' is present tense. Check through your writing for 'is' 'has' 'will' and 'can' also 'isn't' 'wans't' 'hasn't' and 'can't' too. If you find them switch them to past tense so you can keep with the rythm of your story.

    This book has been deleted.
  • taytjie
    taytjie2 years ago
    Commented

    you have an issue with your pronouns. You're calling her a wife, saying she's a woman but then using male pronouns to indicate to her in your writing. there are a few moments of 'his' and 'him' being used when talking about the 'wife'

    This book has been deleted.
  • taytjie
    taytjie2 years ago
    Replied to Reader19821

    Thank you so much for your review and kind words

  • taytjie
    taytjie2 years ago
    Replied to Daoistr3T5Z1

    Thanks for the great review, it really means a lot. I'm glad you like Kurio and Friar, they're some of my favourites too.