I read so far 3 chapters it is a great start i love the detail and story i don't know where it'll take me but i hope itll be great. theres not much to say for editing but i hope when i finish I'll have more comments later on.

ill email you the link

Send a synopsis or plot outline I'll do something but there's a comic I was working on that wasn't fantasy, it was like drama/romance and it was about three women that live in Harlem who have to earn as prostitutes and each of those three do it for their own back story so it was going to be similar to like a three different world series but I haven't worked on it I just try to finish as much Blood Drop which is a primary focus atm.

great story ideas i love the first one more but both are great detail seems a bit of drama for character but really great maybe i can help build the world for first story it could be used for a full length novel if done right.

I feel connected to the story Angel's strong, focused and in part 2 of the prologue I feel she's become a great character and can hold her own the book is overall 5 out of 5 stars! I'll read more later...

Its power hunger all or nothing ya know? the details like "Sigh" say he did or explain how they sighed. its good

Great start i love the woman shes strong and focused

overall try to change some pieces, but it's a great start keep it up you'll do fine.

I'd change it to Looking at her all I can do is sigh. Then >"Insert dialogue here"<

if I were to edit it'd be changed to "Am I the the only one who can?"

try changing from "were" to "Where" because it's spelled wrong.

i think you should say "That" instead of "Does" it makes sense to be honest.