Helka
I am here for Under The Oak Tree. Maybe Iâll write someday.
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Is it hot in here or, is it just me?
Better indeed đ
Beatrice getting so ahead of herself đ¤Ł
You should avoid using the word âokayâ for it doesnât fit an historical setting. Instead, depending on the context, you could use: yes, alright, fine, of course, I shall, as you wishâŚ
I kind of feel inconfortable with the plot at this point. I think I would have preferred that the ML may have to marry the FL to protect her (with actual good reasons) but that story then builds up their relationship towards trust and consent leading the both of them to intimacy. I do not find enjoyable to read that both their consent was thrown out to the window to excuse their first night together. The use of an aphrodisiac potion that leads to death unless the victim has intimate relations with anyone feels very arbitrary and disturbingâŚ
Little piece of advice, avoid using âokayâ in historical fictions as it bumps the reader out of the story. âOKâ was used in print in the US from about 1839, whereas âokayâ dates back from mid-20th century. Instead, you could use words such as fine, well, well enough, good, alright, etc.
I love this kind of comments đ
Ice pack? In a late 18th century setting? How strange đ
This story is truly captivating and I cannot wait to see where it will lead the 2 main characters 𤊠You are really doing a great job at keeping the intrigue entertaining and having the ML and FLâs relationship slowly (and healthily!!!) growing. I would also like to share a writing comment: I noticed that, in your story, you have been using some âmodernâ terms such as âPTSDâ or âdrama queenâ, among others⌠You should be aware that immersion into a story set in the past (whether it be in a fantasy world or in our actual world) comes out more difficult when using contemporary terminology. For example, even though symptoms of PTSD have been documented for literally thousands of years, the term âpost-traumatic stress disordersâ has only been coined during the second part of the 20th century⌠In order to improve your writing and provide a better reading experience, I advise you to make more research about the time in which the story would be taking place if it had been in our world (and not a fantasy one) and perhaps read more documented novels that take place during the same period as the one from which you are drawing inspiration. In the meantime, keep up the good work! đ
This novel is somewhat promising, but you should really completely cut out the sleeping/bathing/eating/dining scenes that arenât relevant to the actual plot (which is still not quite precise at this point of the story) and get the story more action-oriented. Mauve should try to find some ways to be useful in her new home and to find some sense of purpose in her life. She and Jael ought to have actual conversations and get to know each other. Itâd also be interesting to know more about the vampires, their origins, their history, the politics with the humansâŚ
âTalkâ, âShut your mouthâ, âTalkâ, âShut your mouthâ⌠Riftan, you are such a hard man to please đ¤Ł
The wait is finally over and on a scale from one to ecstatic, Iâm ecstatic!