Helka
I am here for Under The Oak Tree. Maybe Iâll write someday.
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Helka7mthCommentedCh 262 Connected (2)- Helka8mthReplied to NoktocieloCh 249 Late night talk (2)
- Helka8mthCommented
Is it hot in here or, is it just me?
"Ah!" Annalise gasped as his right knee was placed between her legs, dangerously close to a place it shouldn't be near ever. She didn't have to guess that he was also thinking of her with a lack of clothing. - Helka8mthCommentedCh 228 Calm (2)
- Helka8mthCommentedCh 222 Family (1)
- Helka8mthCommented
Better indeed đ
"What if I were to suddenly need you? Wouldn't it be much better to have you near?" - Helka8mthCommented
Beatrice getting so ahead of herself đ¤Ł
"My grandchildren," Beatrice clapped her hands. - Helka10mthCommented
You should avoid using the word âokayâ for it doesnât fit an historical setting. Instead, depending on the context, you could use: yes, alright, fine, of course, I shall, as you wishâŚ
This paragraph has been deleted. - Helka10mthCommented
I kind of feel inconfortable with the plot at this point. I think I would have preferred that the ML may have to marry the FL to protect her (with actual good reasons) but that story then builds up their relationship towards trust and consent leading the both of them to intimacy. I do not find enjoyable to read that both their consent was thrown out to the window to excuse their first night together. The use of an aphrodisiac potion that leads to death unless the victim has intimate relations with anyone feels very arbitrary and disturbingâŚ
Ch 10 Memories Of Last Night - Helka11mthCommentedCh 50 Congratulations
- Helka11mthCommented
Little piece of advice, avoid using âokayâ in historical fictions as it bumps the reader out of the story. âOKâ was used in print in the US from about 1839, whereas âokayâ dates back from mid-20th century. Instead, you could use words such as fine, well, well enough, good, alright, etc.
"I am okay. Thank you." - Helka11mthReplied to rainyhylian
I love this kind of comments đ
After two long hours, I was finally finished with the preparations. My body was decorated with a gold evening dress with a bertha neckline, which exposed a lot of my shoulders that I was not really comfortable with. The corset inside almost choked me and it was very hard for me to breathe. Was it normal for women to use such an uncomfortable dress? I was not used to wearing such a beautiful and elegant dress as I used to wear only plain dresses back then. This dress was indeed gorgeous as it was adorned with beautiful embroideries, but I would rather not use it twice. I think I would faint if I wore this dress for any longer than one hour. - Helka11mthCommented
Ice pack? In a late 18th century setting? How strange đ
He chuckled and handed me an ice pack, "Hold this against your cheek, it will help." I took the ice pack away from his hand and held it against my burning cheek. But before the ice pack touched my cheek, he gave me a quick peck on my cheek. "This will help too, but not as good as me licking you," he smiled, leaving me dumbfounded by his action. - Helka1yrCommentedBut right now, he managed to get his revenge and wiped out the Blue Moon pack, restored the glory of the Howling Wolf pack, and now he would get his revenge on Iris for what her father had done to him and his family.
- Helka1yrCommented
This story is truly captivating and I cannot wait to see where it will lead the 2 main characters 𤊠You are really doing a great job at keeping the intrigue entertaining and having the ML and FLâs relationship slowly (and healthily!!!) growing. I would also like to share a writing comment: I noticed that, in your story, you have been using some âmodernâ terms such as âPTSDâ or âdrama queenâ, among others⌠You should be aware that immersion into a story set in the past (whether it be in a fantasy world or in our actual world) comes out more difficult when using contemporary terminology. For example, even though symptoms of PTSD have been documented for literally thousands of years, the term âpost-traumatic stress disordersâ has only been coined during the second part of the 20th century⌠In order to improve your writing and provide a better reading experience, I advise you to make more research about the time in which the story would be taking place if it had been in our world (and not a fantasy one) and perhaps read more documented novels that take place during the same period as the one from which you are drawing inspiration. In the meantime, keep up the good work! đ
Ch 28 PTSD (1) - Helka1yrCommented
This novel is somewhat promising, but you should really completely cut out the sleeping/bathing/eating/dining scenes that arenât relevant to the actual plot (which is still not quite precise at this point of the story) and get the story more action-oriented. Mauve should try to find some ways to be useful in her new home and to find some sense of purpose in her life. She and Jael ought to have actual conversations and get to know each other. Itâd also be interesting to know more about the vampires, their origins, their history, the politics with the humansâŚ
Ch 86 86. Inauspicious Reasons - Helka1yrCommented
âTalkâ, âShut your mouthâ, âTalkâ, âShut your mouthâ⌠Riftan, you are such a hard man to please đ¤Ł
"I said, talk!" - Helka1yrCommented
The wait is finally over and on a scale from one to ecstatic, Iâm ecstatic!
Side Story Chapter 1