Thank you

Thank you for the review. I‘ve been informed of my mistakes and they have been pointed out so I will be making a few changes to it in order to improve the story. Thank you and I hope you stick around.

No no no don’t feel sorry for being the smartest one in the room. I really enjoyed all your comments and how straightforward you were and how you even found a way to make fun of my writing, DINT you. In all honesty I really liked every comment you made it was a source of motivation for me and it will also help my self improvement. Also almana is a he. And it kinda embarrassing but iam 16 and iam bad at explaining my self so maybe that’s the lack of quality in my novel.

Sir, yes sir🥹

Thank you, really. I still need to study the stages of grief but I have been reading all your tips and revising my work and too top it off messaging you back which has taken over an hour already. Wow how time flies by when you’re having fun…well at least I am since Iam getting help from you. Iam the most greatful to you. Sorry I repeat my self to much. Thanks.

Thank you for all the advise Iam really grateful and thank you for pointing out my mistakes and hopefully you could point out the mistakes in the other two chapter so I could improve them. With all my heart thank you.

Didn’t*

Thanks I dint know that

I learned in English class to make all pronouns capitals and all numbers should be worded. I know all this and yet Iam too lazy to do it because I think the reader won’t really overlook it. But it is the incorrect way to do it so I’ll fix it.

Didn’t. Yea I’ll fix that

Ill fix that mistake. Didn’t.

I see what you mean by a long and agonizing death but I tried to make almana sound like he had nothing to live for anymore as if he was an empty shell now or in a dissociative episode where he had no grasp of reality, so him stabbing himself in the stomach would mean nothing since his already ”dead”.

“I called out to her and my Brother and Father”. The reason I used an ampersand was because I taught that using ”and” more than twice would sound to excessive so I used “&”. Just like u said to not overuse ”as” but at this time I dint have any of your advise and couldn’t follow my mistakes.

I did think of that. I was thinking that if the meteorite hit Almana house they would most certainly die cuz of impact or the shockwave, but I tried to make the meteorite sound small meaning that it wouldn’t make much damage. But it seems I dint really pull that off.

Yes, setting up the atmosphere and mood is best for this situations. I should fix that since I dint imply that.

Okay I see, or I could’ve just said that Almana pulled out his phone from his pocket since most people Carry phones with them.

I thought I fixed that while rereading it guess I got lazy.

I always reread my chapters atleast thrice and yet I still miss some stuff, thx I’ll fix this.

So something like “ Mother said this to me WHILE I scoffed at her word. And than I can us AS but only one’s a chp

English is my second language but I do see my mistakes now that you pointed it out.