DaoistriCSxf
of reading
1
Read books
I'm so suspicious of "nice" teachers everyone likes skgnjsgsms, I'm scared of how this is going to end
I'd really love to see "It was a question that they knew the answer to," elaborated on, so I'm gonna share my most favorite piece of advice ever: Chuck Palahniuk "In six seconds, you’ll hate me. But in six months, you’ll be a better writer. From this point forward—at least for the next half year—you may not use “thought” verbs. These include: Thinks, Knows, Understands, Realizes, Believes, Wants, Remembers, Imagines, Desires, and a hundred others you love to use. The list should also include: Loves and Hates. And it should include: Is and Has, but we’ll get to those later. Until some time around Christmas, you can’t write: Kenny wondered if Monica didn’t like him going out at night…” Instead, you’ll have to Un-pack that to something like: “The mornings after Kenny had stayed out, beyond the last bus, until he’d had to bum a ride or pay for a cab and got home to find Monica faking sleep, faking because she never slept that quiet, those mornings, she’d only put her own cup of coffee in the microwave. Never his.” Instead of characters knowing anything, you must now present the details that allow the reader to know them. Instead of a character wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader wants it. Instead of saying: “Adam knew Gwen liked him.” You’ll have to say: “Between classes, Gwen had always leaned on his locker when he’d go to open it. She’s roll her eyes and shove off with one foot, leaving a black-heel mark on the painted metal, but she also left the smell of her perfume. The combination lock would still be warm from her butt. And the next break, Gwen would be leaned there, again.” In short, no more short-cuts. Only specific sensory detail: action, smell, taste, sound, and feeling.
I'd actually would have found it quite funny if we (albiet briefly) got to see them get publically humiliated in front of the class. In any case, the teacher seems fond of his students but at the same time, kind of a hardass. Interested to see more of 'em.
I think I like Ren already <3
I think this opening is very interesting, though, this was a little confusing since the dialogue of these two characters was placed in the same paragraph. I recommend starting a new paragraph when someone new is speaking.