Victor_John_4006
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interesting
you are holding back most information slowing down the gist in the story brutal
the build up is nice
đ
predictable
the build up is good can you keep up the streek
nice
great build up
nice story she far
the way this story is going I think I can't even remember that it was about a boy who suddenly became a millionaire am lost
i don't think this story was necessary to be added to prolong the story it's original script was okay