ali_abdulhadi

this is good

This is an awsome way of introducing the weapon.

Nothing against you I actually enjoy this story and thought it was quite good before the rewriting. I just feel you are being dishonest with us when saying that you are writing this just for yourself as then you could have done this story in an unpublished Google docs and avoided the hassle of telling us off. I hope you continue writing this story, but you at least straighten your thoughts out about your motivations.

this one of the few stories here that actually strike a good balance between wish-fullfillment and story developement. The pace is good and any mistakes are easily forgotten due to the overwhelming interest in "what happens next". I can say that I found greater pleasure in reading this fanfic than I enjoyed the original. My score says it all really. PS: Reading this for the second time.