Novastar_3001
of reading
129
Read books
and there shouldnt be a period at the end.
and also the D in death
How does "The ghastly-looking man shouted out all of his grievances with a look that could kill. Leaving a stark contrast with the extremely large red puddle surrounding him." sound?
no need for comma after exclamation mark, treat it as a period so the w in weeks should be capitalized, no need for the period after exclamation mark
No need for the period after exclamation marks.
grammatical error, "and yet here You" y should not be capitalized, also, add a comma after stand. "and yet here you stand, telling me to GIVE UP,"
i feel like once should be added as it would be better (?) "They once again" I feel like sounds alot better than "They again commanded"
grammatical error, a is capitalized in the word An, "tone As he continued" was there supposed to be a period?
I suggest italics when actions are taking place, feel like would be easier to read.
Nope, but I guess in the future there was one, not a young master but a young lady. haha
I get the feeling the spirit of the flute will accept the MC. Hahaaha it will be fun to witness their reactions.
As Gortox said, its kinda more realistic since she just a teen, if she were an adult, then it'd be true disappointment, think about MC's attention seeking behavior/wanting to see people shocked, I do hope he matures in the future considering but that he was a locked up weeb in his past life and he is just 12 rn, then its not surprising that he wants to see people shocked.
I get the feeling of arrogant young master appearing, I wonder if my senses are right.