Novastar_3001

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

and there shouldnt be a period at the end.

and also the D in death

How does "The ghastly-looking man shouted out all of his grievances with a look that could kill. Leaving a stark contrast with the extremely large red puddle surrounding him." sound?

no need for comma after exclamation mark, treat it as a period so the w in weeks should be capitalized, no need for the period after exclamation mark

No need for the period after exclamation marks.

grammatical error, "and yet here You" y should not be capitalized, also, add a comma after stand. "and yet here you stand, telling me to GIVE UP,"

i feel like once should be added as it would be better (?) "They once again" I feel like sounds alot better than "They again commanded"

grammatical error, a is capitalized in the word An, "tone As he continued" was there supposed to be a period?

I suggest italics when actions are taking place, feel like would be easier to read.