AWHavoc
Writing
of reading
32
Read books
oops, thank you
Thank you! That's slipped by for way too long. Will fix it now.
The novel is a terrific execution of a classic theme. The attention to detail and amount of thought put into each chapter really expresses the author's care for this book and allows you to definitely get immersed in it! The characters are fantastically portrayed and so far each seems to have an independent personality. Even the personality of the MC's pet is terrific! The perspective shifts are smooth and not jarring, which allows certain conflict areas in the theme to be addressed as well as the introduction of new characters in a totally natural way that doesn't break immersion. Pacing seems to be on point so far.
The core of the novel is extremely solid, it is entertaining and immersive and it wants to be told. The characters seem lively and depicted well, it's a solid novel. Don't feel like you need to establish authors notes in the middle of a chapter though, as that breaks the immersion. Especially in something as important as a first paragraph which is huge for a novel. If a reader doesn't understand something, we'll ask. Then you can reply to a comment :) The other detractor that I see, which gets better over time in your chapters, is grammar and sentence structure. Every once in awhile it'll get away from you and pull the reader out of the story. I understand English isn't your first language, don't worry, it happens to those of us that have it as a first language all the time. but I do think it would be worth going back through and editing your early chapters (especially the first one as that's what is going to hook new readers) as your skill improves. You're definitely headed in the right direction! Keep up the good work.