Al1star

Lv3

I'm honestly a teen so my writing isnt the best per say. I have an irregular update scheldule due to school. Someone please give feedback on my book A Fight For Change! I'd really appreciate it.

2022-04-11 JoinedGlobal

-d

Writing

16.5h

of reading

Read books

Badges

Moments

Al1stara year ago
Commented
I CANT LOOKING AT IT NOW MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE KM
"Well I guess you can answer it later," Nathaniel said with a grin. William just chuckled and headed for the door. Before he was about to leave he stopped in his tracks. He then looked at Nathaniel and stuck out his tongue. "Isn't it simple Nathaniel? I'm a petty bitch."
(Changed- again-)
Action · Al1star
Al1stara year ago
Commented
I had gotten the full okay to rewrite. K.R helped me a lot with the details, but I have added new characters to help further the plot. I also designed each character one by one. I have thought through countless things and yeah...
Ch 7 Reboot
AFC EXTRAS
Action · Al1star
Al1stara year ago
Commented
DUDE SHOULD FEEL CONFLICTED!!! Hes way too easy on the guy who bullied him for months wjjskdk
"It's okay Adam, just drink some water." William said as he grabbed the cup of water and handed it to Adam. "I'm going to go ahead and wrap your leg up, okay?"
AFC EXTRAS
Action · Al1star
Al1stara year ago
Commented
UGHHH right when i said good job on implying- dont say things bluntly
Adam was still shaking uncontrollably. He was pale and looked as if he was about to cry. 'Is he having a panic attack?" William thought. He only knew very little about them since he's only had a few in his lifetime.
AFC EXTRAS
Action · Al1star
Al1stara year ago
Commented
nice way to imply that hes been there before
Lucky for him he knew the nurse never locked her door. He quickly opened it and made Adam sit on a chair that was nearby the door.
AFC EXTRAS
Action · Al1star
Al1stara year ago
Commented
something hes probably familiar with
There was a paper taped to the door. "Sorry I'm out for a meeting, come back later!" William groaned. As if in hell he could come back later.
AFC EXTRAS
Action · Al1star
Al1stara year ago
Commented
no need to add cuts here omg
The teacher quickly rushed over. She looked annoyed by the mess rather than concerned. She didn't question anything and only asked William to take Adam to the nurse's office.
AFC EXTRAS
Action · Al1star
Al1stara year ago
Commented
JUST IMPLY THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE. CONTEXT CLUES!!! DONT POINT IT OUT OMGGFBDHD
Everything just seemed to have stopped making sense. His vision wasn't picking up on anything. He knew what was happening to him. He knew why too.
AFC EXTRAS
Action · Al1star
Al1stara year ago
Commented
I think I write panic attacks pretty accurately now. I looked up what its like and I've had a couple myself althought most of the time pretty mild.
Adam felt like a train had hit him head on. His leg was bleeding but he didn't feel anything. His head was pounding and his legs felt like jello. His mind was racing and his heart was pounding against his chest. His throat swelled up he felt like he was unable to breath as if someone was choking him.
AFC EXTRAS
Action · Al1star
Al1stara year ago
Commented
No need to add this- just imply what is needed
"Okay class you will need blah blah chemicals and then you will conduct the experiment by turning on the fire"
AFC EXTRAS
Action · Al1star

A FIGHT FOR CHANGE

A teenage boy by the name, William Turner had been bullied for majority of his freshman year. Growing tired of the relentless harassment did he decided to get payback. A common weak to strong story, but what if that wasn't all there was? A dark history looms over the small town of Sugar Stone. Read now to find out what it is!

Al1star · Action

4 Chs

(Changed- again-)

(No Longer Updating) William Turner just started his freshman year excited and ready to make new friends but things take a turn for the worst when he starts to get harassed by a red-haired a teen who planned to take over the whole school. After months of torture William decides to go online for two years to get stronger and seek revenge. But what if there is more to story than a weak teenager just getting stronger to beat up his old bully? read this story to find out what more there is!

Al1star · Action

6 Chs

It Happened On Sugar Stone St

Sugar Stone Street is filled with connections. Everyone knows Everyone but nobody knows how everyone really feels or what they are going through. These group of young adults have gone through their trauma and drama. Through these stories you'll be introduced to 8 characters. of course each story will have their pairs. (Im not finishing this-)

Al1star · LGBT+

3 Chs

AFC EXTRAS

William Turner just started his freshman year excited and ready to make friends but things take a turn for the worst when he gets bullied by Adam King a teen who planned to take over the whole school. After months of torture William decides to go online for two years to get stronger. But what if there is more to story than a teenager just getting stronger to beat up his old bully? read this story to find out what more there is!

Al1star · Action

7 Chs