He is Hara and I searched what it meant.... does this mean that he is Shiva himself? And the woman was Parvarti?

Just stumbled upon this and...urgh! just looking at the title of the other chapters makes depressed and nervous about your mental health. I suggest you read books in philosophy especially about Stoicism. Books like The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, Discourses by Epictitus and Practical Stoicism by Grey Freeman. It really helps you on your mental health and being emotionally stable while also teaching you about how to appreciate life surprisingly. I highly suggest you read them, it might help you with the pain you feel.