Hates the circlejerk on here where people leave 5* reviews on fics they don’t even read or that they don’t like. If something is bad, rate it how it is. Other than that, just here to have fun.
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Oh LOL what timing
I can’t find myself to care for his lack of self worth because we’ve not seen any reason for it. He just spawned in hating himself and that’s that really. Whereas with a character like shriou emiya, we know why, the fire wiping him down to a blank slate, then influenced by being saved by kiritsugu and his smile filled with joy and salvation, then him picking up his dream. But here bro just has brain damage and we’ve had almost no hints beyond his strong desire to become a hero. Idk man, just my thoughts on his character atm
Goddamn there’s a lot of whiney children in here
My complaints were less about the filling in for non fate fans but rather that you traded detail for info dumping. Like it’s crazy that the only indication of his age post getting his memories back was through your reply to a comment in regards to his and alt’s height. You skim over actual plot details such as what he’s learnt, his age, how much time has passed and so on. You could lore dump/inform the readers without making the MC seem utter mindless/making him clueless beyond surface fate stuff (which only seemed to be negative eg the vampire stuff) The mc could’ve learnt how fucked he was through alt teaching him about the world, more specifically about counter guardians. You could make it click in his head mid lesson, and he could be internally screaming whilst alt pokes fun at him or smth. Also I could be wrong since it’s been a bit but wasn’t it shown how bad being a counter guardian is in UBW with emiya? Also he just feels flat and dumb. He doesn’t feel like an actual character but rather a plot device integrated just to tell readers about stuff. You had some alright moments such as when he got rhon but then it just cut, then immediately move on from in favor of exposing him. He also could’ve spoken around that, and answered without telling her he was reincarnated, a simple “Alaya appeared in my dream and I took a deal thinking it wasn’t that deep” and everything would’ve worked out. Maybe I’ll come back and pick this back up but man was that reveal one of the weakest I’ve read.
Yeah that’s it for me. Barely hanging on with hopes that he improves and that you improve by stop glazing over important details and focusing on info dumping for people who have never consumed fate media. One of the other comments summed up my thoughts perfectly.
Him being sarcastic is crazy since he’s so oblivious to anything and everything
It’s crazy getting details wrong when it’s just a simple google search away
When you’re 100% guaranteed to enter a war against heroic spirits where the majority have a form of magic res and ways to counter magic alongside all of them being able to close distances fast, you’d want to have a strong body and be able to fight in close quarters. There’s a reason why mages across all media, are known to be glass cannons
His stupidity is annoying.
She could’ve just used the correct term and then explained it. It’s not that complicated