merajboss123
of reading
1
Read books
I really liked how you have tried to develop a heated conversation between the newly gained personality system and the protagonist and was successful in doing so. But I think that specially at these heated times, even when the narrator is interacting, you should include 'which dialogue belong to whom'. For example: "Why are you happy?", Rey said/questioned or something... just to avoid confusion during these heated conversations, otherwise it sometimes causes the reader's attention to divert from the actual scene and trying to understand what is said by whom exactly. In only two person or less heated conversations, the assigned punctuation helps ("protagonist", [system], narrator), but it's hard to understand during such displayed scenes. Criticism aside, The conversation was actually really good and well constructed and interactive.
A perfectly good justification of his newly gained ability to read and understand the previous unreadable instructions. Good Writing!