keulijeu
"Come back to me when your tears become rain..."
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keulijeu7mthReplied to I_Nana_Firdausi- keulijeu8mthReplied to Maryah_Aliyu_8059
- keulijeu1yrReplied to ednamodee
Thanks for your comments :D
"Gavryll's lineage was not an Imperial family. I thought that even if I'd given him all the sufficient power of the Emperor, he still isn't powerful enough because he was not from the Imperial family." - keulijeu1yrCommented
Hello, everyone. I'll grab this chance and greet you all. Hopefully, you have a nice day. So, Yours and Always was not supposed to be having daily updates because I was writing another book lol (shoutout to my laziness) But seeing many picked it up encouraged me to. Just like I said, I was having trouble with my writing software which crashed about two days ago T^T I was pretty clumsy, and I forgot to back it up, at the same time, I was tired from my studies so when it crashed I accidentally deleted the software and the data was lost :D Well, don't worry. I've already rewritten them and I adjusted changes for it to be better. If ever you see any misstep such as typos, misspelled words, or other stuff please comment so I can check it faster. Thank you, have a nice day everyone ^v^
Ch 16 To Devour - keulijeu1yrReplied to Naaomi
Ikr (anyway, thank you for commenting:D)
"Why are you suddenly acting this way, Hera? Is it so wrong for me to love a woman worthy of me? I did not ask you to give your everything to me, I never asked for anything from you. Why are you now acting like I owe such a debt to you?" - keulijeu1yrCommented
on the first sentence, delete either one of the 'be'
She already has a rough idea on who could possibly be her family's true opponent be at the present. Though they had quite a lot of enemies but she knows that none of them would resort to such scheme because she knows that they hated such petty tricks and scheme because for them it is just a child's play. - keulijeu1yrCommented
*are*
"You surely is weird. But I like it." smilingly the old man said. - keulijeu1yrCommented
*behold*
"Your wounds were all just superficial except for your back part since it's pretty gory. Mmm it's really a sight to be hold." said Aiesha while teasing the old man. - keulijeu1yrCommented
"...replied *with* a simple " yes"."
"Why? Does this place has hidden mechanisms?" asks the old man curiously. Which Aiesha replied a simple "yes". - keulijeu1yrCommented
"...their son *is* right now..."
While they were talking, a pair of doctor and nurse came out to talk with them. Bearing the news of what kind of situation their son right now. - keulijeu1yrCommented
*knew*
"But even if we don't tell her, she would still come to know. You know that child. She's so secretive. We don't even know how many secrets she had discovered already despite the fact that we hid it too well." Mrs. Moore replied to her husband who barely know a thing because of his busy schedules. - keulijeu1yrCommented
*who*
"Hon I don't know what to do if something happened to our son. I can't even imagine the loss on our family if our son would just leave us just like that. The same goes to our daughter who's always loved to follow her brother," said Mrs. Moore. She felt remorseful for what happened to her baby. - keulijeu1yrCommented
*knew*
The Moore family were in distress over what happened to their eldest son because they know that they can't do anything in this kind of situation and all they can do is pray for everything to pass. - keulijeu1yrCommented
*surrounded*
Meanwhile, at one of the largest hospital in the city, at the ER there were quite a few people who surrounds the area. All the doctors and nurses were busy trying to salvage the situation. - keulijeu1yrCommentedCh 1 The old man in the middle of the road
- keulijeu1yrCommented
*reached* *observed*
Soon they reach the suburbs and made their way to her small but cute villa. The old man quietly observe the place and find it beautiful and tranquil. He didn't expect to have such a place in this world and from the looks of this place, he quietly thought that the owner must be extraordinary because the place is full of visage. - keulijeu1yrCommented
*“Girl, you're quite bold, however...'* put a comma between 'respond' and 'only'
The old man was quite for a while then he laughed heartily and said, "girl your quite bold however, I like your personality. Young people nowadays should have tenacity like you. Only then could this world has tranquil peacefulness." Aiesha didn't respond only raising her brow while thinking of something. - keulijeu1yrCommented
Just because *you're* afraid...
"Young lady please don't bring me to the hospital. Just bring me to a secluded place far from here. I don't want you to get into trouble because of me nor do I want to drag the innocent into this mess. So please just drop me off to a secluded place." When Aiesha heard this she just raised her brow and chuckled then said, "Senior I am helping you because I saw you in this state. Just because your afraid of getting me into this conflict that doesn't mean that I'll just quietly stand by and watch you die in front of me. I am not that kind of person. As for what kind of trouble I would get by helping you, then I'll just face it and solve it." - keulijeu1yrCommented
Separate dialogues to give them space
"Young lady please don't bring me to the hospital. Just bring me to a secluded place far from here. I don't want you to get into trouble because of me nor do I want to drag the innocent into this mess. So please just drop me off to a secluded place." When Aiesha heard this she just raised her brow and chuckled then said, "Senior I am helping you because I saw you in this state. Just because your afraid of getting me into this conflict that doesn't mean that I'll just quietly stand by and watch you die in front of me. I am not that kind of person. As for what kind of trouble I would get by helping you, then I'll just face it and solve it." - keulijeu1yrCommented
A story would be more plausible if all tenses are past and dialogues are good if in present *muttering* not mattering 'think' should be changed to 'thought' as again, past tense is more decent in story narrations put 'a' between 'he's' and 'mentally' 'help' to 'helped'
She cautiously approach him and asks him what actually happened but the old man kept mattering nonsensical words thus she secretly think that he's mentally ill patient and help him get in the car.