Night_shade_

Just no I can’t give advice since it’s not even yours. My brain is numb from reading it

The problom with using ai is that every character speaks and interacts the same way the story format is great the characters interactions all are the same. Btw I can’t seem to figure out which part of the show we are at no Dan and Serena romance? So either season 3 or before season 1 but then they know about the captains Fraud which isn’t right honestly very confused also author please say in description that it is made USING AI

Might just not be for me but I’ve read other dune fanfics and they have better human interaction and grammar.

Characters just don’t talk like humans half the time a 3 year old is talking like a fully grown man honestly seems like it’s made with ai but author said it wasent so I’ll give benefit of a doubt. Author my only advice is work on the conversations more make it feel more human like and maybe work on ur grammar using big words doesn’t make it sound good just confusing.

They dont speak like humans if I didn’t know better I think it would be ai

One second he’s 20 the next he’s 17 I think he’s supposed to be 20

Thought it would be Devon but honestly ur last fanfic with her I didnt like as a pairing maybe u could make it where he steals hawks girl cause honestly she is pretty cute

What is the pairing?

Will he actually be a villain cause currently he seems more like an misunderstood kid

Honestly only thing needs to be changed is update speed and dialogue u sometimes feel like u missed an important part of the story when the character says something