DaoistNo6xcY
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DaoistNo6xcY6mthCommentedWas the library used often or not? Double negation says that it's used often, context indicates that it's not.
It took Rain three weeks to read the book, but at least he learned a lot more than he had expected. The library wasn't a place that wasn't used often, so Rain had a lot of peace and quiet there, whereas the rest of the school was so noisy that it looked like the hell broke loose.- DaoistNo6xcY6mthCommented
Ditch one of the selling...
"I still think selling him into selling him into slavery was a tad bit extreme. At the end of the day they are of the same blood" argued a porky servant vehemently - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
part to path?
This paragraph has been deleted. - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
Instance -> insistance
In fact, she stopped calling him master only after his instance but she still couldn't get out of the habit of acting like a maid. - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
"empire dogs", empirical means something else.
Since this is a forsaken place by the kingdom it is the perfect place for our family to avoid the empirical dogs. - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
She did conceal her strength though?
Firia only showed three fireballs in yesterday's match. So he thought he could win since he could use three fireballs too. It had never crossed his mind that Firia hadn't actually concealed her full strength. He felt regretful for underestimating her. He thought he could beat her with his firepower. - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
How exactly does "tall and straight" breast look? For me that translates into "long and saggy"?
This paragraph has been deleted. - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
your're -> your
"Eva it's time to go find you're mom" Arius patted her on the head. [Does this little girl have a crush on me every time she looks at me her face goes red.] He thought to himself silently. - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
stair -> stare?
It was a stair down Arius and the wolf gazed at each other with glares that could kill. Having enough the wolf did another dash towards him at full speed causing the wind to blow around its fur body. - DaoistNo6xcY1yrPosted
I've read all the free chapters, but I'll stop there. It's an ok story, but I have a hard time reading it due to the rather poor writing. Quite a few grammatical errors, the sentence building is problematic and the text doesn't flow and/or come together (for me at least). I have to say that the quality of writing increases a bit as the story goes on, but not enough for me to spend money on it. The story itself might be worth a read, if you can stand the writing.
- DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
Repeating the same word or words, in this case "life span", is rather poor writing. Especially when done in the same paragraph.
"We all have a hundred years of life span and as our rank increases, we can increase our life span. We don't need to give much of our life span. We just need to sacrifice some of our lifespan, so that we can heal him after he wakes up and we can also use other means to sustain his situation after he is saved." - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
"less" -> "few"
The book had very less pages but Zhan Chen became interested in it after studying it for a while. There was only two weeks remained before his Coming of age ceremony and Zhan Chen wanted to master the techniques written in the book before his coming of age ceremony. - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
"less" -> "few"
The books stored by the Evil emperor were very less in number but all of the books contained valuable knowledge and supreme techniques. Zhan Chen was aware of it. He stopped his cultivation and decided to enter the space of the mysterious diagram. - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
It should be "during a rainy night"?
His mind...keeps replaying on a particular scene that he saw in his nightmare. It was the vivid memory when Amanda died on his arms under the disdainful gazes of his enemies, under a rainy night. - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
weak -> week
Outside it had been a weak but inside the array it had been Two and a half months (10 weeks), during which he had successfully formed his cosmic pearl which at the early stage was 5cm(1'8) in diameter, and it's purity surpassing that limit and guaranteed he could most probably defeat someone at the mid stage. As for late stage he should be able to escape. His speed and strength had increased along with improvement in his cultivation base. Meanwhile his flesh had surpassed the limit of the mid stage and stood very close to the peak. - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
he -> him
Hal mentally nodded and this day would be the one that Hal would make the conscious decision to build an eternal reign for the ease and pleasure of he and his women where their words would be law! - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
bated -> baited
Rad was sweating bullets he knew Hal had bated him to anger but he just could not help it, the instant Rita's name was mentioned, he lost all reason. He also kept recalling the genuine fear he had felt as well as the vision that had instilled that fear, a vision he couldn't explain but had terrified him. The sound of his father taking a deep breath brought him back to the situation at hand - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
I think "pound" to "pond"?
" Son, as my disciple, you have to complete some tasks before I teach you. Go, make a thatched hut first for me here. After that, you have to make a pound too. Come here. " The man approached Joey, poked his forehead with his finger. After that, a lotus seal appeared on his forehead. It locked Joey's essence and soul force inside his body. - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
Chated? Is it just missing a "t" and the author meant chatted? Otherwise I'm stumped...
While eating and drinking, some of them chated, some cracked jokes, while some ate silently. - DaoistNo6xcY1yrCommented
Repeated...
The others considered him to be foolishly enthusiastic, and silently laughed at the idea of Apophis serving as a meat shield while they combined all their firepower to kill the lizard at range!