Boundary_7272
Lv3
Learning more about writing and improving my craft is my mission.
2021-12-18 JoinedSouth Africa
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Boundary_72724mthCommented'As if thinking of something' I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean.
As if thinking of something, he muttered, "Maybe I can play 'dead' when someone comes to check on me. Though it could take a while... I sure hope Jade is having a better time than I am right now."- Boundary_72724mthCommentedTy began to answer, "No, I a—." But suddenly, a shockwave hit him. Rigidity overtook his form. The sword slipped from his grasp, and he collapsed to one knee. His vision blurred, and the world started fading. The last image imprinted on his mind was Tusandro's face, a smirk tinged with concern.
- Boundary_72724mthCommentedBut before she could finish, she coughed hard and dropped to one knee.
- Boundary_72724mthCommented
How many times is he going to drop to his knees? I understand that the situation is physically taxing.
Ty's breathing grew heavy. He dropped to one knee, feeling the sting of a deep gash on his back and the unmistakable pain of a broken rib. Glancing at his wrist, he noticed the watch beginning to flash red. - Boundary_72724mthCommented
Isn't Ty sitting down?
Ty, with whatever remained of his heart, felt a sinking pain, resulting in the flames on his back intensifying, forcing him to drop to one knee and grip his skeletal shoulder as he buckled in pain. - Boundary_72724mthCommented
Does Ty know that the table is made from mahogany or??
The tables were made of rich mahogany, each one capable of comfortably allowing 20-30 guests to sit. - Boundary_72724mthReplied to HambinoRanx
I can respect your life experience. Now I understand your thought process.
Just as he was about to step into the portal, he heard the cry of a woman who seemed to be sprinting towards his location. Interest piqued, he turned around and noticed a short woman, around 5'3", dressed in night clothes, having long raven hair and a pale complexion had sprinted and dropped to her knees over Ty's dying body as she cried in pain and tried to get any kind of reaction from him as she shook his body. - Boundary_72724mthReplied to HambinoRanx
I'm not confused by whose height is whose. What staggering me is the height difference.
Just as he was about to step into the portal, he heard the cry of a woman who seemed to be sprinting towards his location. Interest piqued, he turned around and noticed a short woman, around 5'3", dressed in night clothes, having long raven hair and a pale complexion had sprinted and dropped to her knees over Ty's dying body as she cried in pain and tried to get any kind of reaction from him as she shook his body. - Boundary_72724mthCommented
Isn't Ty 6' 2"?
Just as he was about to step into the portal, he heard the cry of a woman who seemed to be sprinting towards his location. Interest piqued, he turned around and noticed a short woman, around 5'3", dressed in night clothes, having long raven hair and a pale complexion had sprinted and dropped to her knees over Ty's dying body as she cried in pain and tried to get any kind of reaction from him as she shook his body. - Boundary_72727mthCommented
This is a lot of hand holding.
If possible, Lux didn't want to hide anything from his grandma. She was the only family he had ever known, and Vera had taken care of him since he was a baby. There was a certain trust between them that couldn't be spoken through words. - Boundary_727210mthCommented
Author-san likes to say 'specific location' can you elaborate why?
After all, he knew the full extent of this quest and the different rewards it had depending on what one did. With that in mind, Arthur moved forward and reached a four-way split. From here, he turned to the left, intending to head to a specific location. - Boundary_727210mthCommented
Location, location, location. This paragraph needs to be reworked.
Having made an immediate goal in mind, Arthur made his way to another location. This time though, it was a location that was located within the village itself.