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DaoistLfiuFX

DaoistLfiuFX

Lv1
2021-12-10 JoinedGlobal
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  • DaoistLfiuFX
    DaoistLfiuFX1yr
    Posted

    Excellent writing that translates into vibrant visualization of the world this author has created. I am looking forward to the rest of the story! Great work and keep it up!

    altalt
    Did I Forget to Mention I'm the Vice Guild Master?
    Fantasy · Evil_Moray
    detail
  • DaoistLfiuFX
    DaoistLfiuFX1yr
    Commented

    Watch out overuse of slight/slightly. Great stuff you you are writing!!

    Ch 15 | 15 | Internal Force
    altalt
    Did I Forget to Mention I'm the Vice Guild Master?
    Fantasy · Evil_Moray
    detail
  • DaoistLfiuFX
    DaoistLfiuFX2yr
    Commented

    One of them (not if) 🙂

    Andrew didn't think he could get more surprised, but oh how fate proved him wrong. " ... You lucky son of a-! ... You have a dual affinity! Moreover, one if them is already at Tier 2!"
    altalt
    Beast's Malice
    Fantasy · Evil_Moray
    detail
  • DaoistLfiuFX
    DaoistLfiuFX2yr
    Commented

    Beast (not beats)

    'I was fighting that beats! where did it-!'
    altalt
    Beast's Malice
    Fantasy · Evil_Moray
    detail
  • DaoistLfiuFX
    DaoistLfiuFX2yr
    Commented

    Great twist!

    Ch -20 23 2AM Snack Gets Interupted by a Hybrid...
    altalt
    Beast's Malice
    Fantasy · Evil_Moray
    detail
  • DaoistLfiuFX
    DaoistLfiuFX2yr
    Commented

    First sentence does not make sense

    He had never seen the metal the buildings were made out of. His job was to investigate, so he placed his hand on the building. The moment he touched the metal, he had a shock.
    altalt
    Beast's Malice
    Fantasy · Evil_Moray
    detail
  • DaoistLfiuFX
    DaoistLfiuFX2yr
    Commented

    Died to it?

    'Those ants are truly foolish, to be experimenting on something like that... it was no wonder why all but one died to it...'
    altalt
    Beast's Malice
    Fantasy · Evil_Moray
    detail