Very promising first chapter. It's always cool to be there, where you get the see something starting out and watch it grow. Speaking for myself, I never got super into mystery-focused novels(which I think this might be, could be dead wrong), but I'm willing to give this a shot. Going through my problems were the many grammar errors(Not going to harp on every paragraph that had one, but I found them) and certain parts were hard to follow. When I say it is 'hard to follow', I mean the narration occasionally jumping from one characters thoughts to another, without breaking up the sentences. It's a little confusing. In terms of what I liked, Thomas's and Nawa's relationship is very intriguing, can't wait to learn more about that. Big fan of fantasy elements, which is what I find this to be. I'll likely have more to say as more chapters come out, so I'll stop here. Sorry for full English teacher on you. I've proofread too many papers in my life, so my brain detects errors like that.