Guard_the_Azkaban

2/3/2/2/3 [2.4]⭐ Honestly, it has potential, but it's terribly structured. First: somehow, everything is written in the third person, in a rudimentary and poor-quality way. Sometimes it even mixes in elements of first person, but they're badly written. It would be preferable to separate and better structure the story by using different points of view. Second: the main character is garbage. He seems like a hypocritical Chinese person with twisted and strange rhetoric. He sees everyone as 2D characters and NPCs, even though he lives in that world and treats it like a game. Furthermore, the references are very strange and bad. Third: The main character gains the ability to create his own Nen ability and creates a kind of marriage contract, which is frankly a waste. He could recruit talented people, both men and women, but he limits himself to creating a harem and collecting women. Frankly, it's stupid. It would have been better if he had obtained the ability already created that way, rather than creating it himself, because only a fool would limit himself like that when he could obtain many capable subordinates using a different type of contract. Fourth: The way all the women fall in love with MC is stupid and lacks any sense or depth; it only happens for silly reasons.

No. If you're going to do something, do it right, and if not, don't do it at all. This platform is already full of garbage, and nobody seems to be doing anything about it. We have to stand up for ourselves and voice our opinions so they stop doing things halfway. And if they decide to do something, at least do it right and don't rely entirely on AI without even checking their work afterward, like most people do.

Buneary and feebas

Where is the other half of the chapter? Ending it like that, with that title, is a big mistake.

Could someone give me spoilers and tell me what the novel is about, what world it's set in, whether it's MHA, Marvel, or both? Also, will the protagonist be a hero or a villain (because of the "Villain" label), and will he become a killer and all that, you know, to feed Venom?

4/3/3/3/4 [3.4] The story is very entertaining, has excellent grammar, and is well-structured. If I had to point out a flaw, it would be the frequent scene jumps. This isn't an anime, so it shouldn't be written that way. Many conversations, interactions, and events are skipped. There should be more explanation, more detail, and fewer skipped conversations and interactions. Points of view should be clearly marked so we know who is speaking. But the main problem is that the author tries to rush everything instead of taking their time and developing it properly. Aside from those points, it's an amazing fanfic, and I highly recommend it.

Well, first I notice a lot of mistakes, like when Gwen asks if there are many Vampires in this world and things like that. That's way too suspicious, and anyone with half a brain wouldn't ask things like that. Besides, where did that supposed mental breakdown she's having come from?

It's too summarized; that style of writing doesn't help to delve deeper into the story. You need to provide more details, expand on some explanations, and not summarize everything in a couple of words as if that explains everything. It's not a shopping list.

I love this story. I have an idea I wanted to share with you, and I was hoping you'd include it. What if you included Hamon from JoJo's? Izumi could learn it by conquering a JoJo's-themed dungeon where the monsters use Hamon. He would observe them and learn this breathing technique, then fuse it with Total Concentration Breathing techniques and elevate them to a new level. This could also create a qualitative effect with Solar Breathing, and it's a useful skill to teach others to increase their power. It would be incredibly useful.

That's great, because so far your stories are fantastic, I love them. I'm really looking forward to you creating a new one too; you have talent.