MatildasBT
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MatildasBT1yrPosted- MatildasBT1yrCommented
verb tenses
Mike can be found half sleeping under the big tree while of course not forgetting to hide his body when he suddenly heard water splashes coming from the lake nearby. - MatildasBT1yrCommented
stock, not store?
What should I do about this corpse now, wait maybe the system has something to carry things in, let's try and ask. System can you stock this body? - MatildasBT1yrCommented
whats oom?
Is it maybe cause of my stats that I added on strength and her being a mage with a fragile body while being oom? - MatildasBT1yrCommented
verb tense
He is a warrior that doesn't have any problems with mana, so he is always enhancing his body's muscles and skin with mana since tier 1. - MatildasBT1yrCommented
hit it, its an animal
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4 in number
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How did he now( the change of POV from the earlier chap)
After all, getting Jessica to clear out the area is not hard since she will have to do that so he can gather wood which the bigger portion will go to them anyway, and at the same time clear the area for the time when they attack him so nothing unexpected happens. - MatildasBT1yrCommented
the POV
Because yeah you guessed right this time as well, they are already tailing him the moment he left the house, which I'm guessing those are simply the subordinates of that young master, but the news of him leaving his house heading towards the woods probably already reached his ears. - MatildasBT1yrCommented
the POV
Hearing his question Jessica looked at him with a surprised expression at first but she still chose to answer him, after all, she's prideful and loves to show off, which is normal for a teenager around her age, so she strengthened her back saying with a superior tone. " Not yet, but my father told me that I should be able to breakthrough in a matter of weeks it's just that I need to circulate my mana for a few dozen of time and I'll manage to hit tier 1" - MatildasBT1yrReplied to MatildasBT
- MatildasBT1yrPosted
Great name and book cover! It really made me curious about this book. The story was good, but there are many mistakes( verb tenses, expressions, missing words), and the paragraphs are way too large, including long sentences. All of this makes the story hard to read. Well, the narrator's voice also changes frequently, without even changing the POV. That made me confused about who exactly is speaking at the moment. And the villain's only role is to attack the heroine. And the heroine, I get that she doesn't really care about their hate and all, but that only makes the villains harass her even more. Which creates a never-ending cycle. And the only emotion that properly appears( a bit too much btw) is fear. Isn't this a romance novel? Why is the heroine so... strong? Well, I don't say that is bad, but please decide on what type of heroine the book has, and after that, the story will be better. And avoid such repetition of fear and hate. If you mention it a few times is enough. And finally, where is the action taking place? and when? Maybe it is mentioned at some point, or I skipped it, I am not sure.
- MatildasBT1yrCommented
it went... where?
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no screams, no trashing around, no calling the police.... too bland
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wtf..
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um...
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doesn't make a lot of sense
It was Lydia who spoke, she was referring to the matter about Jesy. Lexi had told her how much she hated Jesy and wanted her to leave the house but Lexi never said her reason for hating Jesy Lexi's parents never agreed to the idea of making Jesy leave the house even when they also didn't like Jesy and wanted nothing to do with her. - MatildasBT1yrCommented
was having dark hair?? Not exactly handsome? I don't really understand...
Two figures sat on the brown sofa, they seemed to be having a nice chat and looked to be very close friends, one was having blonde hair and the other was having dark hair but they were both beautiful but not exactly beautiful enough. - MatildasBT1yrCommented
another long journey... cut it a bit
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