Prokfor333

Really digging this so far. Great character pick, and love that there’s no System at all. Also loving how you’re writing Guardiola with all the tactics and head games. Hoping to see more of that. Haven’t read a ton yet so some of this might already be addressed, but I’d love more of the family side. For me the slice-of-life stuff hits harder when it’s grounded in teammates, friends, and family first, with the romance coming in later. Which brings me to my one real issue, and I’ll be upfront, I’m biased. I’m European, no real connection to the US, and I know basically nothing about the Jenners/Kardashians beyond the broad strokes (rich family built on scandal, business, and fame). And from pretty early on, maybe 40-50% of the story feels tied to that relationship. Honestly? I just can’t buy it. A girl who grew up in that world falling head over heels like a lovestruck teen and chasing the MC to England, sure, maybe, she’s young. But actually leaving America, her business, her career behind? That’s where it loses me. The closest real-world example I can think of is Shakira, and she’s a singer who could work pretty much anywhere, and we all saw how that one ended. There’s another football fic I read (can’t remember the name) where the MC tried something with one of the younger sisters and they both pretty quickly realized they didn’t click and she wouldn’t leave the US for him. That felt way more grounded. So yeah, I’ll admit I’ve been skimming those parts. It also kinda reads like author wish-fulfillment. American readers who actually follow the Jenners might get more out of it, but for me it just doesn’t really land. Anyway, really solid work overall, keep it up!​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

So look, this was genuinely one of my favorite fics for a while. Like, I was SO into it I’d been supporting the author on Patreon since September. That’s how much I fw’d this story. The beginning? Absolutely fire. First 80–100 chapters I was hooked, no cap. The writing’s solid, the plot was engaging, everything just clicked. But man… after around ch. 200 things started falling apart for me. First red flag was Orochimaru becoming straight up broken OP. That was annoying but whatever, I could deal. What actually killed it for me tho: They made Hagoromo a villain. And like — okay, I get it, it’s the author’s vision, they can do whatever they want. But here’s my problem: the MC hasn’t even finished his conflict with the Hokage and Danzo yet. You’re telling me we’re already introducing a Six Paths-level threat?? That’s wayyyy too early imo. It just devalues everything the MC’s doing in the near future. Like why should I care about the political games, the scheming, the battles — when there’s literally a god-tier villain lurking in the background? All that stuff I actually wanted to see developed — the politics, the mind games, the gray-area relationships — it all feels pointless now. I’m sure the author’s got a plan for how the MC outsmarts the Sage of Six Paths eventually. But honestly? I just don’t care anymore. Should’ve built up the existing conflicts first before dropping a world-level threat on us. That said — the writing itself is good. No hate to the author, I’m genuinely grateful for the work they put in. Those first 100+ chapters were a banger and I read every single one carefully. For now I’m dropping it. Might come back when it’s finished, but I doubt I’ll be reading as closely or with the same excitement as I did those first 200 chapters.

Thank you for the chapter

DROP THE CHAPTERS!!!!! WE NEED THE CHAPTERS!!!

Love this story!!![img=update] [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update].

Excellent work with a very interesting and unique storyline. I honestly can’t remember reading such a great slice-of-life Naruto fanfic before. Highly recommended for all Naruto fans! [img=update]

Very good story development, high-quality writing and well-designed characters that actually feel alive - not like emotionless talking robots. A truly brilliant story! [img=update]Please don’t drop it!

Finally, something different! This fanfic is a breath of fresh air. Instead, it gives us a truly original take with a deep and unique magical system, compelling atmosphere, and a protagonist who feels real. I’m hooked, can’t wait for the next chapters!

Thank you for your work, I really look forward to continuing.