Slj91

Well, that’s pretty much the same as someone saying they wouldn’t use computere or cellphones. As I said, the prose is really bad. The writting is covoluted, too many things happening in the same sentence without proper flow and pontuation - that’s why I advised you to use an AI, it can at least point those things out.

The story is quite convoluted. I would suggest the use of some AI tool to review the prose and flow of the story. Good luck.

Well, it’s kinda convoluted. The explanations and whatnot a least. Hopefully it gets better.

I gotta agree with the other guy, three chapters of loathsome self introspection and weird mindset are more than enough. I do wonder how people come up with such background storie, it’s so far out of reality that I simply can’t understand how some people relate to it.

The prose is really bad, I would suggest using an AI to review it before posting the chapters. Good luck.

Hmm, I thought you would change this in the rewrite, imo it’s a bad development for the story and character. But oh well, let’s see where it leads.

They are all out of character

Such a shame. The author seems to have dropped.

I suppose I welcomed him too early 😔

I understand that he’s ment to be strong, but he’s too op even at this point, as we move forward it’s likely to become quite boring.