bluidedevil

I really really wanted to love this story.its new, it's interesting. The concepts are genuinely entertaining. But the continuity is just so so bad. Flashbacks to events that were not written, dead people suddenly alive again. People are specifically mentioned in one place and then in a different place in the same chapter. And Jon’s powers are literally all over the place. He's good, then broken, then has a system that works then it's broken again for no apparent reason. I don't need whiplash and a spreadsheet to track all the changes while I'm reading.

This is peak fiction… seriously keep it up. The changes feel natural. My only critique would be to not go too hard on Ellie. She’s got serious potential and I wish universal would have kept her with Alan rather than saddling her with the random dude in the third movie.

You introduce the science competition twice, forget they are triplets, change the outcome, disregard all previous chapters and do a time skip that makes no sense whatsoever. It had potential up to ch 31 then was just all over the place.

It’s the third floor

Stolen from another author on fanfiction …

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