Zalemon
I love writing, cats, rainy days and pretty skies. I hate running, walking and shopping. My favourite past-time is to remembering embarrassing things I did in the past, daydreaming and etc.
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Zalemon2yrCommenteddidn't see that coming:') so weird
No-one needed to tell her to remove her hands; they shaved her private part till it was smooth like a newborn baby's after they were done shaving her private part and armpits, the old lady pointed to the bath and they helped her stand up;- Zalemon2yrReplied to Fexwind
yeah, I understand. It's just one chapter anyway. So, it's good. I like how you described all the character's (even minor ones) features. It helped me to imagine them better. But you know, when you describe Arya, it felt that the male lead only likes her for her beautiful features. I hope if you are thinking about developing their relationship, then I feel adding some feelings would be a good idea as the story develops
- Zalemon2yrPosted
It's a decent chapter. You get to know the characters a bit and you get to know their appearances a lot. I like how it is simple and introduces the readers to the probably main characters, but it can lack feeling at times and seems superficial to me and it feels like it is putting down some people who are just being themselves. There are some grammatical errors that I believe every book has, but it's readable. However, it's just one chapter and I hope it can improve and give the readers some insights into the character's mind and feelings. Also, I don't read books about demons and things similar much. So, I am not well aware of how those novels related to demons work. And again, it's the first chapter. I don't know how the updating stability will be in the future, so I gave it 5 stars.