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zoka_kola6dCommentedCh 383 Chapter 383- zoka_kola17dReplied to Stoicist
you're welcome glad to help you keep improving are you uploading a chapter today g
On the next day, accompanied by a troop of about twenty cavalry, fifty infantry and two scribes, Henry mounted on his horse and treaded on the White Merchant Road, his first destination being the Eastern side of the kingdom. - zoka_kola17dReplied to Stoicist
I understand still when you did not explained the battle at the capital well enugh you rushed things like there were no soldiers on the side stahl calling for regroup to reinforce the whole made by the mage. also, the way you ended the battle is rushed and you didn't explain what happened to the defeated armies of both kingdoms were they enslaved to rebuild the destroyed cities of the west that the Luak army destroyed and also to rebuild the damaged whole of the capital or was they just massacred even so they were defeated its still waste of human resources to kill them all when your goal as king to rebuild your kingdom and on later chapters the king henry was wise enough to spare the parties so he can use there knowledge so what happened in the aftermath of the battle???
On the next day, accompanied by a troop of about twenty cavalry, fifty infantry and two scribes, Henry mounted on his horse and treaded on the White Merchant Road, his first destination being the Eastern side of the kingdom. - zoka_kola18dCommented
no rewarding land no wealth dame mc is on exploiting mood
"No problem. I will also send someone here. I need you to document your knowledge. We will compile it into books for future generations to read and expand It. That way your names will become eternal and known for centuries." Henry said, trying to bring them willingly by offering fame and an everlasting name. - zoka_kola18dReplied to StoicistCh 130 The end of a battle
- zoka_kola18dReplied to Stoicist
okay like the Prussians if am not mistaking okay nice
"I also need to recruit new people to join my army"- Henry contemplated, his body swaying with the horse's movements - "We will soon conquer both kingdoms down south, but Luak will pose the greatest threat. Aritreia will likely be relatively easy to defeat, given that their core is already weakened with their king dead. However, Luak still is a significant enemy, but they will still come down." - zoka_kola19dCommentedCh 138 Muddy Waters - The pirates on the Bay (I)
- zoka_kola19dCommented
Luther didn't kill the king why did he choose to spare Alonso and then kill him you keep rushing things it's like writing about the king and the political side of the story is quite annoying so you just kill him same with the noble structure writing about aristocracy gonna take a long time so let's just abolish it one more thing if I remember correctly story is based on a continent twice as big as the tow Americans continent you have countless empires and kingdoms different species and races occupy those nations they also have etiquette and nobility structures how is henry gonna deal with them if henry and his followers don't have nobility in court since etc etc
"I also need to recruit new people to join my army"- Henry contemplated, his body swaying with the horse's movements - "We will soon conquer both kingdoms down south, but Luak will pose the greatest threat. Aritreia will likely be relatively easy to defeat, given that their core is already weakened with their king dead. However, Luak still is a significant enemy, but they will still come down." - zoka_kola19dCommented
every time he loses something earlier you wrote that he lost both his arms now he lost legs and one arm
This paragraph has been deleted. - zoka_kola19dCommented
yet he want to abolish noblity
"Answer me," Henry demanded, his voice low, betraying a hint of frustration. He understood the necessity of maintaining discipline among his troops; hierarchy and rules were paramount. - zoka_kola19dCommented
why
He had brought with him two scribes, who were distant relatives of some noble families that had fled the kingdom. While they were not considered nobles themselves and only shared a small kinship with them, this connection had afforded them the opportunity to learn basic reading and writing skills. As a result, they had been placed under Luke's guidance, assisting him with administrative tasks. The noble class had been decimated, and although Henry had yet to formally abolish this social system, the remaining distant relatives held no significant power. - zoka_kola19dCommented
only in the capital
Leier took a brief glance at her king, noticing that he was looking ahead and returned her eyes to the road - "Your majesty have provided opportunities for the people to rise in by establishing the Commander's Training Center. The Royal Library has allowed them to gain knowledge, while the schools you established, staffed with royal teachers, have given the people a chance to change" - she replied with pride evident in her face, turning to face Henry - "Indeed, your rule have completely changed the lives of those under your rule." - zoka_kola19dCommented
you keep rushing things what about the mage luna what kind of discussions do both have about the mage of the Kost family why did he come to these lands what was his objective was he the one who told the barbarian to attack Stahl or is he a minion of some organization what about the treasure what about Zuna what happened to her what about the king of Aritreia Alonso what happen to him did they make a deal. what happened to Duke Latter did he manage to escape there are too many loose ends you keep skipping so many things it gets annoying it's like disrespecting the reader's intellect author I told you before to take your time and not rush things your story has the potential don't ruin it by rushing and I really like your novel that's why I wrote all that
On the next day, accompanied by a troop of about twenty cavalry, fifty infantry and two scribes, Henry mounted on his horse and treaded on the White Merchant Road, his first destination being the Eastern side of the kingdom. - zoka_kola19dCommentedCh 132 The East and West - I
- zoka_kola19dCommented
embrace the darkness
"We will rebuild" - Henry vowed, his voice filled with a subtle sense of revenge and a tinge of craziness - "And then... we will bring destruction to their lands. I want their heads...I want their lands...I want their souls. I will make them pay." - zoka_kola19dCommented
what about the seal in the cursed woods
Two weeks passed since Henry's battle with the mage, allowing him to explore the castle beyond his bed for the first time in a while. - zoka_kola19dCommentedCh 130 The end of a battle