ManEatingTurtle
Knowledge seeking, deducting, sociopathic freak. Nice to meet ya ;).
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ManEatingTurtle1yrReplied to literatureisdeadIt's a fantasy, no need for reality, it's fine if it seems cool
His pupils were not normal anymore either. They were shaped like a black cross that ran down the middle and towards the edges of his irises, almost like he was an anime character. These pupils were the effect of his All-Seeing Eyes.- ManEatingTurtle1yrReplied to Macabreseraph
SAME! 🤣🤣
Zara continued to fight within the next 4 floors and reached the 49th floor as a true 1st class. With her evolution, she had gained 2 extra tails. It seemed to be related to her bloodline, but what exactly her bloodline is remained a mystery. - ManEatingTurtle1yrCommented
Death flag right here, hers, I mean
Damien looked towards Elena again, 'Even if I need to sustain some internal bleeding, I have to make sure she makes it out too.' - ManEatingTurtle1yrReplied to Chickeneat
No you are not.
"Ah, and from now on, I'll call you... Hannibal, that's if you want the name though," he said, before continuing on with the discussion. The leaflings became restless, though they felt happy that one of their own had finally been named, the others were even more determined to prove themselves. Lucius picked up on this but decided to ignore it, right now it seemed to be the only form of compensation for outstanding leaflings. - ManEatingTurtle1yrCommented
This guy was the first thing that came to mind...
"My name is Lucius, apparently Lucius Elfwood. You can call me Luci for all I care, just enough of this Lighted Savior nonsense," he interrupted. If he had fingers and temples, he would be rubbing them right now. - ManEatingTurtle1yrCommented
Seems your grammar got worse? How? That aside, didn't quite like the fact that he waited around for an hour... I mean, he can't be naive enough to think coming back would only happen to him, or idiot enough to think that a guy on a street stall would only put the rock for sale JUST BEFORE he got there... Now that I said what I don't like, I must say that I enjoyed that he will get a new start and that you didn't even mention his previous class (not yet anyway). Btw, the class system is nice.
Ch 2 New start - ManEatingTurtle1yrCommented
Okay, pretty standard start, mess, failure, betrayal, reborn. It's not good or bad, it is what it is, what matters is what's next. As for grammar, you show little mistakes, which is good, but don't get complacent and keep improving. Also "mins" is fine, so it's not a critic, but if it were me I'd stick with minutes. Overall I got a nice impression, let's see how it goes!
Ch 1 Rebirth - ManEatingTurtle1yrReplied to ManEatingTurtle
Oh, I'm actually not. There's a bunch of them already! I feel sad... and strangely proud...
They were [Military], [Technology], [Business], [Culture], and [Religion]. - ManEatingTurtle1yrCommented
OMG, can't believe I'm the first to think this
They were [Military], [Technology], [Business], [Culture], and [Religion]. - ManEatingTurtle1yrCommented
Du yu know da wae?
But he would be different because he knew. He knew the way. - ManEatingTurtle1yrReplied to ManEatingTurtleCh 57 The Newbie Druid
- ManEatingTurtle1yrReplied to RykameCh 57 The Newbie Druid
- ManEatingTurtle1yrCommented
Le Duc
"I have a parcel for Alexander Leduc. Is this the right address?" The man asked back. - ManEatingTurtle1yrCommentedCh 32 No Fucks Given
- ManEatingTurtle1yrCommented
How does he know what a rugby goalpost is? Is he not form another world?
"Enough to disassemble the rugby goalpost, carry them to the entrances in the outer layer, and block them off. I would also need a bunch of people who're willing to actually fight. Using monster corpses to block the main entrances will be quite helpful as well. Everyone needs to learn how to fight in order to survive in the Arcane Apocalypse sooner or later, either way!" Liam answered before he thought of something else as well. - ManEatingTurtle1yrReplied to ManEatingTurtle
- ManEatingTurtle1yrPosted
I've just started reading your novel (c18) and I think it has an amazing potential! I like how the beginning was unexpected, and the fact that the author doesn't give that much information about the story only just enough you don't get lost. He also adds these little teasers about the background of the main character that makes you think "wonder how that happened", and motivate you to read the story. It is also good that even though this is an OP protag novel, it doesn't feel like he got too powerful too fast, but instead that he struggles to accomplish his feats and develops slowly but surely (still OP though). Overall great novel so far and I'll probably edit this review as I move forward in the novel. Anyway, best of luck, author, and good work!
- ManEatingTurtle1yrCommented
Wasn't he abandoned and left with the humans since he was just born? How come his siblings not only remember him, but even know of his existence (since he was "useless", wouldn't his mother pretend he was never born)? Also, nice suspense! Hope you add a backstory down the line
He had been abandoned by everyone, banished from everywhere, and forced to kill to survive from a young age. His mother and siblings had always played around with him, or so they labeled it whenever they treated him like a piece of trash. They tortured him, and gave him seemingly impossible missions one after another, just to brief him about the situation on Haltan as his first opportunity to gain freedom.