Want_A_Martini
Objectivity guy, proud member of the toxic brood, and long-man cultist. Grab a glass of Rhino Milk and enjoy my novel. May the Don be with you and keep you safe from Moviebob's clutches.
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Want_A_Martini1yrReplied to haremphobicOh, so I should've gone into more detail on what exactly the difference between normal sight and how he sees with mana is?
Anchor-1: Using all of the user's mana, an anchor point can be set up, allowing the user to teleport to that point from anywhere. Costs 50 mana to teleport to an Anchor. (0/2) Anchors placed. {Reach Rank 'Intermediate' to level up skill}]- Want_A_Martini1yrReplied to haremphobic
I *see*, thanks for the criticism man, I really appreciate it. I can see a lot of that definitely being true, since I decided to switch to the real life powers and military stuff on a whim and just happened to have had lines setting it up earlier. The only thing I'd hard disagree on is me needing to restate he's using mana to see during his first mission. I'd just spent the last 20 chapters specifying that lol everytime he sees something. To the point where I actually thought it was annoyingly redundant while rereading. Thanks for your honesty though, I love all the other folks reading here but they aren't the critical type, always nice getting blunt feedback.
Anchor-1: Using all of the user's mana, an anchor point can be set up, allowing the user to teleport to that point from anywhere. Costs 50 mana to teleport to an Anchor. (0/2) Anchors placed. {Reach Rank 'Intermediate' to level up skill}] - Want_A_Martini1yrReplied to haremphobic
If you don't mind, could I get more elaboration on when "toward the end" was and how exactly my writing was starting to falter? I'm always trying to improve!
Anchor-1: Using all of the user's mana, an anchor point can be set up, allowing the user to teleport to that point from anywhere. Costs 50 mana to teleport to an Anchor. (0/2) Anchors placed. {Reach Rank 'Intermediate' to level up skill}] - Want_A_Martini1yrReplied to haremphobic
Oh my bad, I meant the story as a whole, at least up to the end of Volume 1. This was my first time writing something long-ish.
Anchor-1: Using all of the user's mana, an anchor point can be set up, allowing the user to teleport to that point from anywhere. Costs 50 mana to teleport to an Anchor. (0/2) Anchors placed. {Reach Rank 'Intermediate' to level up skill}] - Want_A_Martini1yrReplied to haremphobic
I appreciate it man, aside from the fact I gave up and only gave an outline of the ending, what did you think of it?
Anchor-1: Using all of the user's mana, an anchor point can be set up, allowing the user to teleport to that point from anywhere. Costs 50 mana to teleport to an Anchor. (0/2) Anchors placed. {Reach Rank 'Intermediate' to level up skill}] - Want_A_Martini1yrReplied to haremphobic
I mean, I half finished the ending 🥲 I'm just arguing with for the sake of arguing though, I agree with your criticism tbh
Anchor-1: Using all of the user's mana, an anchor point can be set up, allowing the user to teleport to that point from anywhere. Costs 50 mana to teleport to an Anchor. (0/2) Anchors placed. {Reach Rank 'Intermediate' to level up skill}] - Want_A_Martini1yrReplied to IceBlizzardCh 38 How I would've finished the story, Pt 5 Finale
- Want_A_Martini1yrReplied to haremphobic
I get that, but the I've made it clear people don't even know what the class does, the only info I've said they've gotten is it's a high cost low damage build. They're frequently surprised Kane is teleporting. We only see Kane hang out for about a week in the game with maybe 4 characters. I do agree that my explanation is a bit weak though, its always bugged me that I couldn't find a better to justify it, but in the end it doesn't effect any payoffs so meh
Anchor-1: Using all of the user's mana, an anchor point can be set up, allowing the user to teleport to that point from anywhere. Costs 50 mana to teleport to an Anchor. (0/2) Anchors placed. {Reach Rank 'Intermediate' to level up skill}] - Want_A_Martini1yrReplied to haremphobic
The idea is more that not enough time has passed for people to realize it's good, the class is advertised as high cost limited attack, which would be bad early game. The very first players on Skyrim didn't immediately go for stealth arching :P
Anchor-1: Using all of the user's mana, an anchor point can be set up, allowing the user to teleport to that point from anywhere. Costs 50 mana to teleport to an Anchor. (0/2) Anchors placed. {Reach Rank 'Intermediate' to level up skill}] - Want_A_Martini1yrCommented"There's a back room where no one goes," Carly said. They dragged Arthur to another room. There was no problem in doing that inside the pool, but someone could appear at any moment. And these girls did not want a quick fuck. They wanted Arthur to destroy them.
- Want_A_Martini1yrCommented
This is giving me an aneurysm
"Not we, but you. I pulled up some strings, and you're now a new chef for the Royal Family," - Want_A_Martini1yrReplied to ironyisnotdead
And how does he know how to control his temperature or flame size
Arthur controlled the flame to keep a steady temperature throughout the process. The book said the best temperature for each stage, and Arthur did not want to change that. He needed a lot of knowledge in the field to change these sorts of aspects. Trying to cut the root from one ingredient was already bold enough. - Want_A_Martini1yrCommented
Aww don't lampshade, acknowledging you're lazy doesn't fix it
"Universe is truly helping me out here." Smiling, he returned to the classroom. - Want_A_Martini1yrCommented
So he went to summer camps and learned a bit about hunting but didn't/only knew how to make a friction fire from TV?
Another thing he wished to master was hunting. Arthur was not entirely clueless about it, as he went to some summer camps back in his world. But the problem was that few animals lived in the academy's woods. And, as far as Arthur knew, no one could hunt there. - Want_A_Martini1yrReplied to _lone_soul
Classic*
A waterfall with a naked girl on it. She was taking a shower. - Want_A_Martini1yrCommented"Not at all. If you promise me that, you'll work hard. I don't tolerate lazy students," Wisa said.
- Want_A_Martini1yrCommented
What's with this author and missing commas everywhere, half of his sentences speed on like an ADHD child rambling.
These two were the twins Lisa the cheerful one, and Lara the expressionless one. Lisa had approached Valdel, while Lara approached Ren.