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ric3cak3

ric3cak3

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2021-08-18 JoinedGlobal
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Writing

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58
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Replied to Pixiepiu

    can't be fadING or can't have faded [it's how english works idk the technicalities] the second one kind of irks me because it doesn't make sense in context [my opinion idk if it's wrong exactly but it seems off]

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Vampire's Obsession
    Fantasy · Pixiepiu
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Replied to Pixiepiu

    I pointed out a few things that could be changed in the first ch. I suggest you download grammarly and add it as an extension to your chrome browser. That's what helped me proofread my work faster.

    altalt
    Vampire's Obsession
    Fantasy · Pixiepiu
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Commented

    "Can't have faded" "eyesight has dulled"

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Vampire's Obsession
    Fantasy · Pixiepiu
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Commented

    first line: punctuation errors

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Vampire's Obsession
    Fantasy · Pixiepiu
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Commented

    lowercase "yes"

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Vampire's Obsession
    Fantasy · Pixiepiu
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Commented

    "ages" is a collective noun maybe use "how many decades/centuries"

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Vampire's Obsession
    Fantasy · Pixiepiu
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Commented

    1st line: had third line: new sentence instead of comma

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Vampire's Obsession
    Fantasy · Pixiepiu
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Commented

    am going to free you from your suffering

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Vampire's Obsession
    Fantasy · Pixiepiu
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Commented

    "in a trance" in place of "in the trance state"

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Vampire's Obsession
    Fantasy · Pixiepiu
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Commented

    omit "and" and begin a new sentence it feels more natural like that

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Vampire's Obsession
    Fantasy · Pixiepiu
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Replied to Pixiepiu

    of course!! I'll be taking some time with it though :")

    altalt
    Vampire's Obsession
    Fantasy · Pixiepiu
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Replied to Pixiepiu

    Thank youu so much!!

    altalt
    An Undying Love Story
    Teen · ric3cak3
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Replied to Yanie_Long

    "stakes" *wiggles eyebrows* was the pun intended?

    altalt
    Vampire's Obsession
    Fantasy · Pixiepiu
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Posted

    Twilight meets Beauty and the Beast! Love Elsa already and I'm barely ten chapters in. Her pure innocence is honestly so refreshing! I can't wait to see how her personality contrasts with our MC. A small complaint is that there are a few grammatical errors, but it doesn't ruin the overall reading experience. Honestly, I'd say it doesn't even matter, especially when the plotline is so interesting. Great work author!!

    altalt
    Vampire's Obsession
    Fantasy · Pixiepiu
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Replied to MayDreamer

    No, no! Don't apologize! I had fun reading your book.

    altalt
    Irene The Lady Who Turned Down Fate
    Fantasy · MayDreamer
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Replied to MayDreamer

    Thank you so much!! I'll look into the typos.

    altalt
    An Undying Love Story
    Teen · ric3cak3
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Replied to Luminous_Arcadian

    Thank you so much, I’ll look into it asap :) !!

    altalt
    An Undying Love Story
    Teen · ric3cak3
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Posted

    Okay so um I like the idea of the story, it's pretty creative. The characters are pretty well-written. Overall, I'd say that the book is great, probably because I'm biased cuz I'm a sucker for reincarnation stories. However, there are a few things that the author must consider: Given that this is your first novel, it's pretty great. Definitely could use some edits here and there, but nothing that can't be resolved by proofreading. The situation setting is described beautifully but there are places where it's awkward (?) Perhaps it's due to over-explaining it, I'm not really sure. Conversations sometimes feel stunted, as if it's something that they wouldn't say in that situation (?) It doesn't disrupt the flow of the story, but it's sort of annoying sometimes. [I'm so sorry author T-T] Anyways, I hope you take my words with a grain of salt and use it further improve your writing skills. Let's all learn from our mistakes and become the next Rick Riordan :> !! Great work author, keep it up!!

    altalt
    Irene The Lady Who Turned Down Fate
    Fantasy · MayDreamer
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Commented

    stop so cute

    "Really!!" He asked with his big puppy eyes.
    altalt
    Irene The Lady Who Turned Down Fate
    Fantasy · MayDreamer
    detail
  • ric3cak3
    ric3cak32yr
    Posted

    I read a couple of chapters and I'm completely entranced by your writing style. The imagery is just *chefs kiss* It almost feels like I'm IN the book, experiencing everything Marco is going through. Great work author, definitely looking forward to future updates!!

    altalt
    Lost Souls' Rendezvous [Will be republished]
    Realistic · Luminous_Arcadian
    detail