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Iceknith

Iceknith

Lv2
2021-08-05 JoinedGlobal
12.3h

of reading

4

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4
Moments
166
  • Iceknith
    Iceknitha year ago
    Commented

    I think you meant "since he *did* not *know*'

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  • Iceknith
    Iceknitha year ago
    Commented

    I think you meant "to 18H" and not "too 18H"

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  • Iceknith
    Iceknitha year ago
    Commented

    I don't know if "whole of today" is an error or a valid expression, but I sure don't know it, and it seems odd

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  • Iceknith
    Iceknitha year ago
    Commented

    I think you meant "while look*ing* down"

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  • Iceknith
    Iceknitha year ago
    Commented

    I think you forgot to erase the "climbed on top of it", because now it spells "climbed it climbed on top of it like a cat"

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  • Iceknith
    Iceknitha year ago
    Commented

    I think you meant "running like *a* beast"

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  • Iceknith
    Iceknitha year ago
    Commented

    Sorry to be always so negative about, an otherwise great story, but wouldn't it be better to not repeat "absurdly" in this paragraph. You could maybe replace one of them with an "extremely" or "gigantic"

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  • Iceknith
    Iceknitha year ago
    Commented

    I think you forgot the "head" in "she lowered her *head*, which was covered..."

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  • Iceknith
    Iceknitha year ago
    Commented

    furthermore, I don't know if you meant "twister form" or "twisted shape"

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  • Iceknith
    Iceknitha year ago
    Commented

    I think you meant "replacing *it* with her..."

    This paragraph has been deleted.