ScytheBergon
Lv1
I write and stream on twitch. I will respond to messages and comments when I can. I'm also a father and I work full time so my time is limited,
2021-08-01 JoinedGlobal
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ScytheBergon1yrReplied to kblackmore26362- ScytheBergon1yrCommentedCh 2 Chapter 1
- ScytheBergon1yrCommented
Big thing I'm noticing here is punctuation and sentence structure. Dm me for more.
This paragraph has been deleted. - ScytheBergon1yrCommented
So far this is well done. Detail isn't extreme but well-done great tension building.
The car ride got very quiet, and Jason sighed before returning to his window gazing. Looking at his reflection in the glass as he lost himself in his memory of that night, he and Emily were returning home from the airport. Their flight had been delayed. He glanced over at Emily, who was sleeping in the passenger seat Her long auburn hair caressing her face and resting on her shoulders and he smiled briefly, remembering how they had met right out of high school and fallen in love almost immediately. They had been married just under 5 years now, and they had taken an early anniversary trip up to the family cabin on Lake Michigan. Snapping back to the car ride, he briefly glanced at the clock as it read 3:13 AM. That's odd, he thought, I could have sworn it was 3:00 AM when we left the airport, and I knew we had been driving for at least an hour. Confused and exhausted, he decided his time displacement must be from the jet lag before returning his attention to the road, or rather, what little bit of the road he could now see, as it had become abnormally foggy. He reached down and pressed play on the stereo before settling into his seat, adjusting to get more comfortable as the speakers in his 1975 Dodge Challenger crackled to life and AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" filled the car with life and, at least for the moment, seemed to give him a little more energy. He lit a cigarette and inhaled, thinking to himself how badly he needed to kick this habit, before quickly pushing this out of his mind and inhaling again just as he was about to put it out. However, a deer had jumped into the road from what seemed like nowhere. Panic-struck Jason Swerved and narrowly missed the deer, losing control of the car in the process before crashing head-first into a tree. With blood gushing down his temple, he looked over to see that Emily had been thrown from the vehicle. Jason struggled to climb out of the car. - ScytheBergon1yrCommented
^^*
"Yeah, sorry man, just kind of zoned out for a minute," said Jason. - ScytheBergon2yrCommentedCh 2 Of Illuded Omniscience
- ScytheBergon2yrCommentedCh 1 A devastating welcome home
- ScytheBergon2yrCommented
Very good
Sometimes it is those nights where the devils torture you for they feed on your pain. (Oh dear Shakespeare, Ye have been right once again) Hell is empty all the devils are here. - ScytheBergon2yrCommentedCh 1 Chapter 1: Holograms?
- ScytheBergon2yrCommented
[img=recommend]
"Check your ammo! Make sure it's not Armor Piercing! We don't want you jugheads to put a hole through the hull and suck us all out into space!" SSGT Pike roared in his standard loud voice. - ScytheBergon2yrCommented
so far I do enjoy this. the question above rings in my head as well. if there was a transition to him being deposited in a cell a or some sort of thing I must have missed it.
Han Xiao furrowed his brows as he organized his thoughts.