MC_Kapoor
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2021-07-22 JoinedGlobal
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MC_Kapoor2yrCommentedThe quick change of plan to raid the palace entry and disguise in witch and wizard is good thought of plan........[img=coins][img=coins]
To our utter surprise, Security guards and cameras were deployed at the entry gate. It was a herculean task now to make an entry. We changed our plan and thought of gate crashing the palace instead of entering through the main passage. We hid behind the back wall of the rear entry and asked Rajvansh to put his tongue on one of the cameras to defuse the recording. One of the guards heard us chatting and came to find us. After a scuffle, we got control of him. We tied his hands, legs, sealed his mouth with gum tape, and locked him in a cupboard stored nearby. After fixing him in the cupboard, we got into the palace. We were spotted by 2 wizards and 3 witches in the corridor. One of them with a grave voice said "who are you?" It was the right time to come out of wizards and witches' disguise and control the palace with godly power. Behind witches and wizards was the witch who turned Rajvansh into a frog. She laughed until she spat seeing us without realizing the godly power of the Baba Maharajji. She was going to cast a spell on us, Baba Maharajji immediately started chanting the holy mantras of Lord Shiva Mahamrityunjaya Mantra- MC_Kapoor2yrCommented
The story beginning para is good. It creates a sense of worry for main protagonist Veeir why is he chasing him.[img=coins][img=coins]
I was going to my school in the morning, as usual, I noticed a frog hopping a little far away from me. It looked very preposterous to me nevertheless I kept on walking towards the school building. I was startled to see the same frog sitting on my desk in the classroom. The frog resembled my friend Rajvansh. I didn't believe myself so I went to the class teacher. 'Please, Miss. You probably won't believe this but I want to share the mystical thing I had been through since morning. She pretty much believed me that the frog's face was similar to Rajvansh. She thought of speaking with his parents. It was more suspenseful to note the affirmation of his parents. They informed the class teacher "we know it, he went to a park in the late evening yesterday and when he returned, he was a frog, this is a mystery for us too." - MC_Kapoor2yrPosted
There is some lovely dialogue in this story-well done for choosing effective verbs for the dialogue instead of using 'said' all the time. you have used other words such as shouted and exclaimed. This makes your writing more interesting and exciting to read. [img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins]