Alfiemooon
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Alfiemooon1dReplied to Jake_Kloiberthere's only one.
"Welcome. To Yharnam," I intoned softly, my voice barely a whisper but still carrying to everyone's ears. "A dream and nightmare in its own right. And the home of the Bloodborne Hunt…"- Alfiemooon9dReplied to orstedssama
we don't actually know if she wants to harm harry in any way. She hasn't given us any indication she'll do so, However, she's allied with people who harry are antagonist against; if she does try to harm him, it would be because of those allies.
Ch 243 Chapter 243: Broken Secrets - Alfiemooon9dReplied to Blake_Silver
punctuation is the least of it. Either way, it's blatent and terrible to read. it's bad. Just because there are worse things out there, that doesn't make this good. it's cat shit vs dog shit. They're different, doesn't mean one is better than the other.
detailOh No, I get stuck with Crazy Name that Stuck me with A crazy Goddess!Anime & Comics · RikuKage - Alfiemooon10dReplied to Abadom
but 80% of the chapter was random trash dialogue. Cut it out and nothing changes. your chapters just aren't long enough to sustain a chapter that has so much filler. It means we have to sometimes read up to 5 chapters just for something to happen, that's ridiculously bad.
Ch 282 Family Reunion Part 2 - Alfiemooon10dCommented
A lot of filler dialogue here. Most of the contents of most of the chapters could be completely cut and it wouldn't of made a difference. the author needs to be more considerate about what they write. A lot of the time it's just stuff that belongs in the background. A chapter should advance the plot in someway, or at least set up a plot advancement nicely. Your chapters fail to do this and it makes reading your story tedious. I could skip dozens of chapters at a time and usually not miss anything important. I think you just stretch your arcs out too far. realistically it shouldn't take any more than 15-20 chapters to finish an arc.
Ch 282 Family Reunion Part 2 - Alfiemooon15dCommented
"are... are you an adventurer"* You don't start a question with you. It's just grammatically wrong 🤷♂️
"Y-You… Are you an adventurer?" - Alfiemooon15dCommented
yes? The Hera and Zeus familia, iirc, only managed to destroy a single scale or something like that. They were completely decimated by the dragon.
Would the black Dragon even shed its scales naturally?... - Alfiemooon15dCommented
It's hard to imagine Zeus just happening across that many molted scales.
Buried deep within the ground, I noticed there were scales from the One-Eyed Black Dragon hidden from everyone's eyes. - Alfiemooon15dCommented
surprised at what? it's a world with magic In, most people know it exists. There really shouldn't be any sort of surprise.
'Silver was slightly surprised as he looked at the young man, but as he saw his hands and clothes, he came to a silent understanding...' - Alfiemooon15dReplied to Alfiemooon
too far*
"Why would you wish to associate yourself with me?" asked Naruto, a bit sceptical, at the raven-haired ANBU. Itachi clearly noticed the awareness in the blonde's tone. - Alfiemooon17dCommented
They were already Anbu.
During the one year that had passed, Shisui and Itachi joined the ANBU to further support their clan's standing. Though this meant less time for Naruto with the duo, they still made an effort to train regularly with the whiskered blond. Naruto had met Sasuke while Itachi taught him. - Alfiemooon17dReplied to Lc_The_Second
Definitely not. There's literally no indication they grow faster, the author is just a poor writer. He's speeding up Naruto's maturity before being given any real reason. Kids are a product of their environment. A kid like Naruto, growing alone, would realistically be very illiterate and impolite. Social etiquette would be alien to him.
Naruto's face pales, and he finds himself looking downwards, he had many questions in his head, but many of them, Why Me? Why did the fourth sealed Kyuubi inside me? Why do people hate me then? I'm the reason Kyuubi is not out there killing people. Do they not understand how seals work? Naruto asked himself in confusion. - Alfiemooon17dCommented
Not far. kids, no matter how clever, just aren't mature enough to think about stuff like that, nor use words like associate. Naruto grew up alone, he definitely wouldn't be formal.
"Why would you wish to associate yourself with me?" asked Naruto, a bit sceptical, at the raven-haired ANBU. Itachi clearly noticed the awareness in the blonde's tone. - Alfiemooon18dReplied to Lc_The_Second
No. He went by madara
"Me? I'm Tobi. Nice to meet you, Hokage-san." - Alfiemooon18dReplied to Writers_Ablood
OG VOG didn't have wyverns. That's mainly because Destiny didn't have them in the first place. I think it's a nice addition.
Feeling their threat exceed the expected level, the Templar roared, and the Vex responded. Minotaurs, hobgoblins and Wyerns rushed towards the fireteam. - Alfiemooon19dCommentedCh 19 Leaving The North
- Alfiemooon19dReplied to UnknownKneeMoose
I hope it doesn't come to that. it's far too cliche and the author has done a decent job of Avoiding those so far.
And yet Harry instinctively knew what it was, the elder vampire, in his true form. He looked at Voldemort and nodded to him. They had a common enemy. They would pause their confrontation until the Elder Vampire was dealt with.