JayCooper

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Maybe you like "The force of the North"

(No spoilers, just a critique) I read up to chapter 96, so I had to come here and write this review. The author knows how to write—he can create dialogue scenes, action scenes, and so on. But the problem is that he doesn’t plan anything. Let me explain: I won’t give spoilers, but the MC’s main power is stealing abilities. He gets his first power in a way that only works in this story—the method he used is very dumb and would easily be discovered by any detective or super. He only got away with it because the author wanted him to. Now, about the first high-level power he gets—the power of Translucent. And no, this isn’t a spoiler, because in a single chapter he does something that takes a lot of effort to reach Translucent, gets the power, and then leaves. He says that Translucent’s power is essential for who he wants to be. Then dozens of chapters pass, and he never uses that power. At some point, he literally throws it away simply because he doesn’t use it. So there was all that effort… for nothing. Like, why, author, why? Now let’s get to the main point of my critique: the system has more charisma than the MC. The MC is always talking about being a genius, about being smarter than the police, Vought, the supers, Edgar—smarter than everyone. But despite claiming to be so smart, he spends all his time trying to follow the timeline of the series. Without spoilers: he arrives in this world on the day Hughie loses his girlfriend. He spends months in this world just to arrive hours before The Boys reach the place where they meet Kimiko. The MC gets there first, saves Kimiko, and that’s it—for the next countless chapters, she becomes his new “pet.” There’s no development for her, no real fights involving her, and her scenes don’t feel natural—they feel like a bunch of words forcing a romance. The MC has the charisma of a door. He tries to act like Black Noir, like a rock, but he just comes off as someone with no charisma—a character with no depth. And worst of all, the MC has no purpose. His initial goal is to survive, and in less than 20 chapters he already has enough power to do that, yet he keeps doing things with no purpose. Then a new goal is introduced—avenging his parents—but wait, he resolves that in the same chapter it appears. So no, there’s no real purpose to this story. From the beginning, the MC tries to follow the series step by step, episode by episode, season by season. But at some random point, he suddenly stops following the canon and does something boring between chapters 70 and 73. Oh wait—just a few chapters later, he goes back to following the canon like nothing happened. Author, where is the planning? Where is the MC’s progression? Where is the charisma? Where is the MC interacting like a human being? Where is his purpose, his life goal, his reason for wanting to defeat Homelander? You literally wrote a character who is on Homelander’s level, has Stan Edgar’s money, and the influence of a president—and he does nothing. He just sits in his penthouse acting like a knockoff Dexter. A character who tries to be intelligent but ends up being just a Heinz Doofenshmirtz—someone with potential, but no real goals.

The Pepsi man is sad because there is only one chapter today. Could you send two chapter tomorrow to make him happy???

Incredible, fantastic, amazing, awesome, wonderful, marvelous, spectacular, outstanding, astonishing, phenomenal, mind-blowing, breathtaking, extraordinary, remarkable, superb, excellent, exceptional, brilliant, stunning, unbelievable.

say the guy called "DarkBlood"